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« SANDY AFTERMATH OPEN POST | Main | Hurricane Sandy Is Already Causing Damage To the Slope (Damn you, Sandy!!!!) »
Monday
Oct292012

Your Guide To Hurricane Sandy Craigslist Hookups

We're halfway through Frankenstorm 2012, and if you're anything like me, you've already watched everything on your DVR, gone through your Google Reader, cleaned your apartment, and eaten most of your emergency food stash. But if you're feeling adventerous, you might want to use Hurricane Sandy as an opportunity to get your freak on. And judging from the amount of posts on Craigstlists asking for "Hurricane Handys," some good ole fashioned Hurricane Sex might be the most popular survival activity. 

To help you weigh your options, here's a quick survey of the opportunites that await you on Craigstlist today:

Men Seeking Women

For you women out there who complain that there's no eligible single guys out there in the hood, never fear! I've found the man of your dreams, and he comes equipped with plenty of entertainment, alcohol, weed, and super cute kitty cats. And who doesn't love Seth Rogan!?! Just be sure to put Sandy in the subject line. Dude's got thousands of applicants coming his way and clearly needs help sorting through his inbox.

Women Seeking Men

You think Craigslist is filled with a bunch of jerks trying to hook up? Not always! This adorable lady just wants to hang out and play board games. No hanky panky. SERIOUSLY!!

Men Seeking Men


Speaking of a bunch of jerks trying to hook up, no one takes that title more than the gays. We're like the Christopher Columbus of Craigslist fucks. We didn't start it, but we certinly defined it. I mean, just look at all the postings asking for hurricane head! The possibilities are endless. And that's not even taking into consideration the use of GPS-apps like Grindr and Scruff - both of which are probably blowin' up today. But of all the options out there, this is the one that stood out the most to me. Mainly because I'm 99% sure "board games" isn't a euphemism. 

Women Seeking Women


Okay, so technically this chick isn't in Park Slope. But if you're going to go for a hot Craigslist hookup, sometimes you need to go to Bushwick. And who wouldn't want to go to Bushwick for a hot bi Latina? I'm pretty sure she doesn't look like that picture, but if she requires you to voice verify, you can at least be sure she's a chick!

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