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Thursday
Aug042011

Who Gives a Shit: The Perks of Being a Transplant?

Via easterniowagovernment.com

There are at least two reliable migratory flows in these United States of ours:

1) Antsy and/or out-of-place Midwestern kids sailing on the wings of unmarketable bachelor's degrees to NYC (particularly, Brooklyn)

2) Old NYC Jews tumbling sunward to the retirement communities of Florida

Let me admit up front: I am a transplant. From Iowa. Just want to get that out of the way for whichever commenter would say that "I should go the fuck back to bumfuck Iowa or wherever I came from with all the other transplants because NYC doesn't want me." Let's just all agree that this is TOTALLY TRUE.

Nevertheless, like all those skinny-jeaned facial hair wearers in Billyburg, my roots reach back to a land rich in genetically-modified feed corn. Recently, the maternal-parental unit forwarded me this article from a newspaper back home. It written by a new Park Slope resident. The dude taught in Iowa City, my old college town, and now resides in the Slope. He explicitly compared the cool and sucky factors of both places. Here are some of my thoughts on his thoughts:

* It's cheaper in Iowa. Um, yeah. Duh. It's cheaper everywhere else not named San Francisco. But it is a pretty important differentiator. Last city I lived was Des Moines, IA: huge, one-bedroom not far from what they adorably call "downtown." (Ok, I'm not above snobbery myself now.) $500 a month. Christ.

* Not driving kinda rules. Totally. It's a big plus here. Though, I don't get the feeling this dude has to take the 4-train during rush hour.

* I do not miss the violence of Iowa City: The murders, the gameday craziness, the attacks in College Green Park, the brawls. Ummmm....granted, this is not the NYC of 1975, but...it's still a fuckin' big city. If you want lesser violence, a sleepy, Midwestern college town is going to win out. Have you witnessed a stabbing in "gentrified" Park Slope? Have you seen the cops' signs about sexual assaults yet? Have you LEFT Park Slope? Jes' saying. They have the occasional murder in NYC, too. And sometimes people even brawl.

* New Yorkers can also be non-assholes -- just like Midwesterners! True. People here help each other out. They just dispense with the fake, neighborly nice-ness.

So, what about you, FIPSters? I know we've got some transplants -- Midwestern or otherwise -- up in this Internet community. This is Brooklyn, after all. Half of you are probably eating corn-on-the-cob RIGHT NOW. From whence do you hail? How's the Slope compare to home? What's better here? What sucks?




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