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Friday
Jan142011

Who Gives A Shit: Do You Want A Walmart In Brooklyn?

I've been to Walmart once in my life. To buy a gun.

Yes, I broke my decades-long boycott when we somehow got suckered into buying the older an air/bb rifle that he couldn't survive a summer upstate without. It's in a place of honor up in the inaccessible attic, after a visiting friend shot his brother with a stone he'd stuck down it this summer.

I love that gun even if it's not a Glock. But, given the precariousness of mental health conditions in our borough, I just don't feel comfortable with the idea of a Walmart coming to town. According to my due diligence on Glocktalk.com's Caliber Corner forum, you need a permit for a gun in NY, but what are the chances of them asking for it in East New York?

Now, I have already been boycotting Walmart since I spent the LONGEST year of my life (save this last!) in Janesville, Wisconsin working as a cub reporter at the aptly titled Madison TV station WKOW. Janesville boasted 16 separate bowling alleys, the highest per capita KKK membership in the midwest, and one sit-down restaurant. Oh, and a big, fat, ugly Walmart on the edge of a dreary highway outside of town. That poor desolate downtown was on life support: every hardware store, wedding dress shop, shoe store and newspaper stand driven into bankruptcy by the evil Walmart.

I didn't like them on principle then and I still don't. Aren't they the store that has provided more weaponry and ammo to our nation's mass murderers than any other single store?

Didn't they get Christine Quinn's memo to buzz off? They're sending us postcards (like the one above).  They have a local online "action center" for god's sakes and a new poll out of 1000 random city dwellers alleging we all want them here, especially Brooklynites. They want you to sign their petition.

Brooklynians aren't too thrilled. I'm flipping Walmart a Brooklyn welcome. What about you all? 

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