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« NOW DO THIS: NATALIA ZUKERMAN/GARRISON STARR AT UNION HALL | Main | 'Crafting My Vision' For Park Slope: STFU And Stop Being Dumb »
Tuesday
Mar222011

WHO GIVES A SHIT: Do You Bring Your Baby To Bars?

I'm pretty positive I know the answer to this question, but whatevs. It's gonna get warm soon, and people are gonna be outdoor drinking, and so I thought it was time to take everyone's temp once again regarding our fave Park Slope ish: do you bring your bebes to bars?

Cause every time I go to a bar, I pretty much see one. And today a FIPS reader pointed me toward this review of Washington Commons from Yelp:

So, two moms walk into a bar.
It's Thursday at 4:30 in the afternoon.
The bar is empty, except for three people and a bartender.
Everyone looks to see who is coming through the door, as people do when there are only a few in the bar.
So one of the moms (ME!) says, "Oh hey! We're bringing our babies into this bar. Is that okay with you guys?!"

And the bartender says,
"Well, yeah, but I mean, if your baby starts crying, then you know."
and I looked at her and said:

"What?"

and she said, "You know."

And I said, "What? Should I put her outside?"

And she said, "No, I mean don't put her outside, but you know, if she starts crying, you should, um you know, stop her from crying."

And so I said, "Are you sure? Are you sure I shouldn't just let her cry?"

And she said, "Um..ha?ha?"

And that's when my friend and I noticed that one of the three patrons at Washington Commons had his pug sitting at the bar. And I said:
"If your pug barks do you have to put him outside?"
And he said:
"No, only if its over 32 degrees!"
And I said:
"ME TOO! When it's warm enough, I just put her outside."

STUPID FUCKING BARTENDER.

Besides being a mom, I also have a lot of friends and spend a lot of times and bars in Brooklyn and you should be nice and also? There were only three people in your bar. And also? My buddy never cried not once. UGH

OMGZ, babies and puppies! This review is like the double friggin rainbow!

Anyway, I think that we're actually entering into a strange alternative realm. Like I think we've actually crossed some invisible line in the sand now, where babies in bars are no longer considered unusual. Am I right?

Like OK: the bartender here was perhaps a bit inarticulate, but it is it really out of line to expect that while you're getting drunk, and trying to forget about the fact that you're unemployed, and have bedbugs, and will be alone for the rest of your life that you won't have a crying baby all up in your grill?

But yes: I think that's where we all are now, folks. Babies in bars is a totally normal thing. Like get with the program, or else.

Am I right? Yay? Nay? Have a nice day?

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