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Tuesday
Mar272012

Who Gives a Shit: Are You Voting On Whether To Ban Israeli Products From the Coop tonight? 

Photo by Park Slope Lens

Alright, people. This is it. After three years of talking in circles about whether or not to throw out all the Sabra Hummus, the Park Slope Food Coop will finally hold a vote on whether they'll be voting to boycott Israeli products from their store. Tonight's 7PM meeting is expected to be so epic that it will be held inside Brooklyn Tech's auditorium, which seats 3,000 people (compared to the 400-seat synagogue where the Coop's meetings are usually held). 

The Coop has published the meeting's agenda on their site -- here are a few things you should be made aware of, if you wish to attend:

  1. Don't even THINK about trying to get in if you're a non-member. And if you're a member trying to sneak  in SANS an ID card? Security guards will probably shoot organic purple carrots from a potato gun at your face. So, you know, just keep that in mind.
  2. The Coop will NOT be providing refreshments -- if you decide to bring your own, keep the munching at a minimum. And for the love of Pete, don't bring a bag of baby carrots and some Sabra buffalo-style hummus. You will single-handedly cause a riot. 
  3. If you leave the building for a smoke or to pray to a higher being for meaning behind each monthly meeting that you snooze through, you will not be allowed back inside.

Over the past few years, The Park Slope Food Coop has created some of the greatest fodder for our blog. It's just too fucking easy with these people. During shifts, members have gotten into fist fights, locked each other inside to run home and catch an episode of Castle, hooked up at singles events and have invited each other to go "a-wassailing," whatever the fuck that is. And who could forget such scandals as Nannygate, the hiring of a hooker, the recommendation that Jewish members wear a yellow Star of David and that dad who left his screaming baby in the car while he shopped for kale and quinoa.

The Park Slope Food Coop is so good at creating stories that people live Tweet their meetings and create Tumblr accounts that pair the joint with walking ab machine Ryan Gosling. The whole hummus debacle has also created enemies for the Coop. Alan Dershowitz promised that he "will stop at nothing to make them pay an extraordinarily heavy price for their bigotry.” Glenn Beck called them anti-semitic. Mayor Bloomberg recently urged people not to vote for the ban

If you're a Coop member, fill us in on your plans. Are you going to vote on the ban? Not vote? Or are you just going to stay home because you don't give a shit? 

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