If there's one thing I know about heat waves, it's that...they make it hard to...think...words. Saying. And the typing. You know? Anyway, cool your brain temps down by enjoying things that are fun and ideally located near sources of cooling alcoholic beverages. Welcome to Whassup: So Fun, It's Cool Edition:
* Thursday, July 12: Organization for Weirdos, Proteus Gowanus Observatory: Okay, they phrase it organization for "creative types," but we know what they mean. This class teaches artists, writers, crafters, etcetera-ers who operate on the mushy hemisphere of the brain how to run a tighter ship. Time-management, handling multiple projects, and related skills will get inside you. 8pm, $10 DOS.
* Thursday, July 12: Hymn for Her, Union Hall: If the pun doesn't get you, the gimmick might: this couple tours, records, and lives in an RV trailer. Their sound's just as downhome/redneck, with stringed broom handle, banjo, and harp. Bring your own sawdust to sprinkle on the bar floor, though. 8pm, $8.
* Friday, July 13: Babeland's 4th, Babeland: Brooklyn's favorite place to find stuff to put in your holes turns four, celebrating with fourplay tips (puns AND sex? I'm in love), cocktails, and hors d'oeuvres. You can also purchase something vibrating as part of their ongoing summer, 20% off sale. 7pm, FREE.
* Saturday, July 14: Bastille Bash, Dekalb Market: Hey, Francophiles, the fine event-making folks over at the Skint have some Bastille Day action for you, with: French burlesque (it's like American burlesque, but sexier), live music and dancing from French chanson and jazz band The Hot Sardines, and, wait for it, a baguette-eating contest. Because in America, we do things to gross excess. 6pm, $12.
* Saturday, July 14: One-Dollar Canvas Opening, Littlefield: Here's some rather non-subtle commentary on our capitalist reality: an art show of work completed on one-dollar bills. It should also allow for some interesting experimentation with medium, as different artists see what they can do with the little, greenish canvass of G. Washington's face. Opens today, runs through Aug. 9. 6-9pm, FREE.
* Monday, July 16: Bridge Books, BK Bridge: By now, every single one of your Brooklyn friends who reads/writes/talks-about-doing-such has facebook posted that article about Brooklyn as a writers' mecca. So, yeah, we got reading series up in this. Here's a novel (hey-oh!) one: outdoors, under the watchful suspension cables of the borough's trademark bridge. Happens Mondays in July and August, each event sponsored by a different BK bookstore. Greenlight is up today, with Amor Towles, author of Rules of Civility. 7-8pm, FREE.
* Tuesday, July 17: Storytellers Stand-Up, Tea Lounge: Here's a fresh idea. You know all those storytelling series ala the Moth thriving in Park Slope? You know how stand-ups often try that somewhat unfamiliar medium? Well, here, "I Like You, Maude" storySLAM host (and FiPS editor) Kerri Doherty flips it: established storytellers slinging jokes! Will it be successful? Good question! It should be entertaining, even (or especially?) if standup proves a challenge. Look for storytelling scenesters Adam Wade, Andy Ross, Jeff Simmermon, and many more. 7:30pm-9:30pm, FREE.
* Wednesday, July 18: Secret Social Science, Bell House: The boozy lecture series returns with some scientific perspective on the meaning of the social networks. Mathematical sociologist Duncan Watts, from Microsoft's new NYC research center, explores the motherload of data our facebooking habits give about who we are and why. So, be nice to him. He knows how frequently you check your ex's relationship status. 8pm, FREE.