Are you guys hitting the back-to-school sales as hard as I am? Holy shit, the pencils, folks. The pencils! So reasonably priced! And did you get a Spider-Man folder or a Barbie Trapper Keeper? My point is that it's mid-August, and that used to mean something -- you know, back when life changed from year to year, instead of interminable years in offices where we will all die because the middle class will never be able to retire anymore? Think back to fonder times with Whassup: School Sales Edition:
* Saturday, Aug. 18: Inner Beauty Pageant, Film Biz Pro Shop: Brooklyn is where precious ideas go to become locally famous. So, this thing could totally work here. An antidote to a society obsessed with the exterior, this is a pageant all about what's inside. (Because we're never going to stop being a society obsessed with competition.) 8pm, FREE.
* Sunday, Aug. 19: Greg Johnson, Union Hall: A chance to catch a well-regarded NYC comic -- playing in front of Union Hall's weird, Robin Williams' mother portrait for one night only. 8pm, $5.
* Monday, Aug. 20: Hot Tub w/Jared Logan, Littlefield: Jared Logan fills in for Kurt Braunohler, who I assume is mourning the transition of Kristen Schaal from East Coast Kristen to West Coast Kristen. Next time we see her, she'll be wearing energy crystals and talking slowly. Let Jared fill up the empty space she's left behind. 7:30pm Doors, $5-$8.
* Tuesday, Aug. 21: E.T., Red Hook Flicks: This summer's Red Hook Flicks season of "scary monsters and super freaks" closes out with everyone's favorite alien from childhood who preferred eating Reese's Pieces over cats. 8:30pm, FREE.
* Thursday, Aug. 23: Spice World Sing-a-Long, Bell House: If the London Olympics didn't make you want to sing Spice Girls songs, then...well, then you're probably a normal, well-adjusted person. For the rest of you, there's this. Hey, "fun" never meant "culturally respectable." 7:30pm Doors, $12 DOS.