Somehow, I admit it, I ended up watching the Golden Globes, and maybe that was a waste of time, though it is always pretty cool to see Tina Fey and Amy Poehler do their comedy thing, and Tommy Lee Jones was unintentionally pretty hilarious, but the real point is that maybe everything you do teaches you something, and there's always a lesson to be learned, and I'm very attracted to Jodie Foster, so watching her speech has given me total permission to just fucking ramble on and somehow, people will find it meaningful, so there you have it. Welcome to Whassup: Say Everything Edition:
* Friday, Jan. 18: Rabbi Darkside, Paper Box (Williamsburg): I was introduced to the MC Rabbi Darkside, at a John Lennon sing-a-long at Roots Cafe in South Slope. While the other musicians capably covered and interpreted the Christ-insultingest Beatle's work, the Rabbi ripped apart and reconstituted "Happiness is a Warm Gun" via live, looped beat boxing. Then, he rapped over the top of that, creating a pretty amazing new piece from the old standard. I'm just kinda taking a flying chance here that the rest of his stuff is just as intelligent, creative and "ooh"-inspiring. Headlining above the Rabbi are Brooklyn indie rapper Soul Khan and Philly soul/hip-hop fuser Kuf Knotz. 7pm Doors, $10-15.
* Saturday, Jan. 19: "Pretty in Pink" Novelization, Union Hall: Seriously, it rarely fails to raise a laugh when reading drivel in a serious and overly dramatic manner. That shit's never-fail comedy gold, on par with over-analyzing pop-song lyrics and wacky sit-com neighbors. So, this should be pretty fun: a dramatic reading of the script to Molly Ringwald's "Pretty in Pink," one of the main reasons I spent the '80's smitten by redheads. 7:30pm, $5.
* Saturday, Jan. 19: Brooklyn What Record Release, Public Assembly (Williamsburg): A real-life NYC band, the Brooklyn What kids have been pounding power chords since they first exited their mother's wombs RIGHT HERE IN BROOKLYN (well, prolly more like ever since they went to middle school RIGHT HERE IN BROOKLYN). They party-rock like it's their job, and so will you, 'specially if you like to mosh and suchwhat. 8:30pm, $8.
* Sunday, Jan. 20: "Print Collaboration" Lecture, 440 Gallery: The 440 Gallery wants to learn your brain for you, with a series of Sunday lectures -- all at 4:40 (get it?). That's right, you've got twenty minutes to prepare for class. This Sunday, master printmaker Kathy Caraccio teaches your whole brain all about collaboration in the printmaking process. Look at all your gorgeous grey matter. 4:40-6pm, FREE.
* Sunday, Jan. 20: TV Night, Videology (Williamsburg): This video store-cum-screening bar gives you all the Lena Dunham you need, adding "Girls" to its Sunday night screenings. The show we're all supposed to be talking about (I guess) joins "Downton Abbey," already on the docket, and presumably sneering in aristocratic disapproval of Lena. 8:30pm, FREE.
* Monday, Jan. 21: MLK Tribute, BAM: It's actually possible to be non-cynical and spend the holiday honoring Dr. King in the intended way, i.e., remembering the Reverend, not shopping for deals. Not that I'm trying to guilt-trip you, I'm just pointing that out. I'll just set here in the dark. Harry Belafonte gives a talk, while the Brooklyn Interdenominational Choir sings Dr. King's praises. (Pick up the free, first come-first served tickets starting at 8am.) 10:30am, FREE.
* Wednesday, Jan. 23: Planet Money Live, Bell House: Wanna peer behind the money-colored curtain, and see how the finance sausage gets made? Wanna find out just how mega-fucked in Park Slope (or anywhere else in America) we all are? Careful with your answer -- you can't un-learn this stuff. This live version of the NPR money segment will tackle the topic, "Is America Screwed?" At best, I think, the answer begins with an "m." Prepare your angry face. 8pm, $12.