Maybe you heard about this. Tomorrow, some basketball owner or something will do some rapping at a new venue in Prospect Heights. It's apparently named after the subway stop or something? Anyway, those tickets are totally sold out, so whatever. No Jay-Z for you! Still, you might be curious to see what happens up around there once this whole Moby Dick of an arena finally gets rolling. Will Prospect Heights/Northern Park Slope instantly douchify? (Like, in a different way than they already have, I mean.) Personally, though, I recommend staying far away from there and entertaining yourself with Whassup: Anti-Barclays Edition:
* Thursday, Sept. 27: NY Burlesque Fest Turns 10, Bell House: Part of the larger 10th Annual New York Burlesque Festival, this show is all packed full of the naked. Twenty-plus breast-havers from across our fair planet will be amazing on stage for you. 8pm, $10.
* Saturday, Sept. 29: Chile Pepper Fiesta, Botanic Garden: Hot-ha-ha-hooott! *fans mouth* Come experience one of the few societally accepted forms of masochism and put all the peppers on your tongue. You can sample salsas, hot sauces, and chile-chocolate concoctions. All with Latin American music, juggling, storytelling, dancing, and more. Imagine if the Red Hot Chili Peppers were having a concert in your mouth. It's totally not like that, but I just wanted everyone to picture that for a while. 11am-6pm, $15.
* Saturday, Sept. 29: Punk Benefit, Rock Shop: Local Brooklyn party-punkers The Brooklyn What and compadres raise money for the Billy Cohen Scholarship Fund -- an annual scholarship for one Edward R. Murrow High School student facing cancer. Come, slam dance for a good cause. 7:30pm, $10.
* Sunday, Sept. 30: Atlantic Antic, Atlantic Ave.: Sweat out the very last droplets of your enthusiasm for summer street fairs with Brooklyn's biggest: 600 vendors, a million Brooklynites, music, magic, and raps about your handbag. 12pm-6pm, FREE.
* Tuesday, Oct. 2: Geeking Out, Union Hall: Recently picked up to record episodes featuring the likes of Michael Showalter (aka, "hitting the big time"), FiPS' own Kerri hosts the live version of "Geeking Out," a celebration of our shameful obsessions. Storytellers, comedians, and others share tales of loving CP30, Buffy, and everything Peter Jackson has made -- just a little too much. 8pm, $8.
* Tuesday, Oct. 2: PunderDome, LIttlefield: Ever wonder why we FiPSters do it? Because of the fame and fortune, duh. Yours truly (Mike, the FiPS events guy) will be serving as what PunderDome host Fred Firestone hilariously calls a "celebrity" judge at this edition of the amateur pun competition. All thanks to this review, here. I can just hear the deafening silence of no one giving half a shit. More importantly, though, the show is a metric pun of fun (ohhh no), full of all sorts of strange customs, like a human clap-o-meter, sitcom sing-a-longs, and the ever-present danger of a Rodney Dangerfield impersonation. 8pm, $6-7.
* Thursday, Oct. 4: Great Lake Swimmers, Bell House: These guys are a personal favorite, with songs full of gentle beauty and a fondness for the outdoors that only a Canadian band could produce. You'll be all like, "Why the fuck am I in this shitty, concrete city?" And then you'll go out and get late-night Chinese from Michael & Ping's on the way home and be all, "Oh, yeah, that's why." 8pm, $13.
* Sunday, Oct. 14: Bacon Takedown, Bell House: Get 'em while they're hot and sizzling and greasy, guys! The bacon takedown is perhaps the greatest thing that is/ever will be. This year it's especially urgent to let you know about this gathering of arterial abuse: the tickets always go fast AND...HAMAGEDDON!! All the bacon is going to be gone or something, everyone! I only hope this post has its intended effects -- happy, bacon-stuffed FiPS readers -- without causing a run on the nation's bacon banks. 2pm, $15.