So reportedly, Anne Hathaway is selling her existing $4.5 million dollar Brooklyn pad and is looking to relocate to another BK locale. We here at FIPS need more celebrity material (sorry Patrick, Steve, Maggie, and Peter), so Anne, here are 5 reasons for you to consider Park Slope your next hood.
- You've already got friends in the neighborhood. Well, sort of. Since you know Jake from Brokeback, I'm sure hanging out with Maggie and Peter at Al Di La over polenta might be right up your alley. Also, Jake comes out to visit pretty frequently and we can both show you around the neighborhood.
- You claimed once in an interview that if left to your own discernment, you've got the worst personal style. Well, welcome to the world of sensible cork-bottomed shoes and repurposed diaper bag purses, Anne. Park Slopers aren't exactly known for their sense of style so you'll fit right in. Just buy some Danskos and rock those capri pants, girl.
- You are vegetarian and lactose intolerant. There are a lot of places in New York that are super meat-cheese centric, and yes, we've got enough yogurt shops and bbq joints to feed the entire population of Staten Island, but you know what else we have? Veggies and vegetarian joints. Hit up The V Spot, S'nice, Sun in Bloom, or Wild Ginger to name a few. Also, we're pretty good at farmer's markets. (Dr. Pickle anyone?)
- I hear you hate talking to strangers on the phone, especially to order food. Well good news sister friend, all the good spots are all loaded up on seamless, so no need to talk to anyone, EVER.
- You're whiney and most people don't like you. Join the club! If there's anything more "Park Slope" than whining, I'm not sure I've found it.
So all that's to say, Anne...just move here already so we can start complaining about it!