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Wednesday
Jun012011

Weird Genderless Baby Killing My Buzz

While your kiddo is hanging around being a “boy” (or even worse a “girl”) all the cool babers are busy being (s)hes. That’s right! Canadian renties Kathy Witterick and David Stocker have decided to raise their newest offspring, Storm, genderless.

Storm's daddy David tells Parent Central: "What we noticed is that parents make so many choices for their children. It's obnoxious."

Yeah. That’s what’s obnoxious, David.

So what do the Witter-dicks mean by genderless? Storm, the fruit of their fucked up looms, does indeed have real girl/boy parts, but it’s a big fat secret (for the record, Jezebel thinks he's a boy).

OMG, I want to know SO bad.

Don’t worry! Storm's baby mommy Kathy says that if you want to “peek” while she’s changing Storm’s diaper, she’s down.

The Wittericks have two other children who are boys, but they’re far from “normal.” At the tender ages of 5 and 2, Kio and Jazz (!?) are even more interested in gender studies than your now-lesbian college girlfriend. Instead of smearing their poo all over the walls like normal kids (anyone?), Kio paints his nails and Jazz writes books about how he’s not actually gay under his already established pseudonym "The Gender Explorer."

Kathy goes on to tell Parent Central: “Everyone keeps asking us, ‘When will this end?’ And we always turn the question back. Yeah, when will this end? When will we live in a world where people can make choices to be whoever they are?”

Haha, fuck you.

Welcome to the world, Baby Storm. Two words: shit life. 

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