"You've read the book, now make the fantasy a reality."
This is the first line of hot pink text that appears over The 50 Shapes Workout with Kristen James Fitness. In what The Daily News describes as a workout "that culls its exercises directly from sex scenes in the erotic bestseller," James performs a series of exercises meant to tone and sculpt the abs and legs, etc... you know -- parts of the body one might want to look sexy while fornicating.
Here's the thing, though -- aside from one move that looks like a man-sitting-in-a-chair-and-female-on-top-sex, most of these look pretty straightforward and not at all how one positions oneself during la intercourse.
On the other hand, I haven't read the books. Tell me, do the novel's dirty deeds include a move wherein the woman sits on the floor and twists her torso from side to side while holding an invisible medicine ball?
Park Slope moms: this doin' it for you?