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Monday
Nov122012

There's a Froyo Robber on the Loose

Surveillance footage of the suspect

To all the local froyo joints: STOCK UP ON SECURITY.

Shortly after 9PM last Sunday night, an armed robber with a strong attraction for hitting up froyo establishments held up the Tasti-D-Lite on 7th Ave near 9th Street. The same man allegedly robbed the same store on October 17th, 26th and 31st. The suspect, featured in the above photo, is a black male in his 40’s, between 5 ‘10” and 6' tall, usually wearing a dark jacket and jeans, and is ballsy in that he's never worn a mask. Despite holding up the stores at gunpoint, no one has been hurt during the robberies. So that’s good.

Not limited to Tasti-D, the same perp is wanted for up to 12 robberies in Brooklyn and Manhattan, all committed in the same manner. His other targets include several Subway restaurants in Fort Greene and downtown Brooklyn, Blue Marble Ice Cream in Cobble Hill on Court Street near Wyckoff Street, the Clearview Cinema on East 62nd Street in Manhattan, and a dry cleaner in Park Slope that he has robbed twice.

While we may never know why a third of his robberies have targeted the venerable froyo establishment, we can try to make some educated guesses: 

  • He’s gone bankrupt buying his girlfriend Tasti-D-Lite’s froyo and has to improvise.
  • He resents the constant reminder of his lactose intolerance.
  • Tasti-D never stocks his favorite flavor, Chiffon Mint.
  • All the goddamn “D-Lite” puns drive him nutso.
  • He invests in the Haagen Dazs on President Street, and wants to crush the competition.
  • He’s working his way up to Magnolia Bakery.
  • No one could tell him exactly what a “Tasteologist” does.
  • He felt betrayed upon learning that Tasti-D is not froyo, but a “dairy-based soft serve frozen dessert.”

Click here to watch a video of the perp in action, courtesy of the New York Post. And -- bonus -- they make you sit through an ad first. ‘Cause catching a profit is more important than catching a crook. 

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