Aaaand, now it's August. You (or I, anyway) spend the whole winter pining for summer, and then it comes, and then it's fucking August pretty much immediately. What the hell, inexorable passage of time?! What did we ever do to you?? Whenever that calendar flips to the last month before we find out who our homeroom teacher is for the next year, I get this anxious feeling: the end of freedom, bad weather coming, death, decay, it's all over too soon, ohmygodfluseason. Please allow me to impart my neurosis to you, so that it may motivate you to squeeze the last bits of summertime joy from 2013. Go out there and do this thing, Park Slope! Welcome to Whassup: August and Nothing After Edition:
* Until Aug. 15: Bar 4's Last: Over at Bar 4's Facebook page, they're announcing the "last" of every of their regular events before the place closes Aug. 15. Which is sad, but helpful if you want to catch some of these shows before they retire forever or move to Littlefield or the Tea Lounge or whatever. Also, a good way to check out everything that's going on in Bar 4's last days, be it a formerly regular event or not. Prime place is the Local Correspondents singer/songwriter fest from Aug. 9-12, culminating in the last Bar 4 open mic, Aug. 13. One thing that will probably be going on: getting so drunk that you cry all over the bar. So, just the same as always, but now with a better reason.
* Friday, Aug. 2: Story Collider Takes Manhattan, Rockefeller University: Park Slope's favorite storytelling/science mashup hits the Big City! The Large Apple! King Kong's Playground! Doucheville! The Land of a Million Starbucks! That's right, Story Collider, popular denizen of Union Hall, will be taking it's science-related narratives to The Rockefeller University. There, they will also, I would assume, try to hit up the family for some philanthropy. Stories will feature real-life Rockefeller students and faculty, along with a special guest science journalist who will recite all his favorite digits of pi. 7pm-9pm, $10.
* Sunday, August 4: Beck, Bandshell: Well, for shit's fuck's sake: the fucking Beck. There is absolutely nothing I could say to convince you to want to see a Beck concert if you don't already desire it passionately. This benefit concert is, unsurprisingly, sold out. But you know the drill by now: just hang out outside the fence and listen to the wondrousness. You may even be able to glimpse some of the stage action through the fence slats and mobs of other music moochers. 7pm, FREE (if you do the aforementioned).
* Tuesday, August 6: Punderdome 3000, Littlefield: Don't worry, they always come home. After experimenting with life in SoHo last month, Punderdome returns its raucous amateur punsters to the Slope area. Come shout about how much you love bad jokes. 8pm, $6-7.
* August: Rooftop Camping: You know what? Fuck nature. Fuck some mooses and the mosquitoes and the tree pollen and the vast distance between you and a Thai restaurant in the fucking wilderness. But you know what else? Don't fuck camping. Camping! You get to sleep on a hard surface and make gross, sweaty sex that everyone can hear! Camping! It's in tents! So, to get the best of both worlds, you can take advantage of Bivouac New York. Aside from containing I word I still don't know how to pronounce, Bivouac New York also hosts camping parties on NY (and other cities') rooftops. Tents, morning coffee, a toilet and "friends" are provided. Well, probably bring some of your own friends. But there will be new ones. And probably creepy ghost stories. And, while you may not get ticks or bumble through a patch of poison ivy, you can always try your luck at a new venereal disease. In tents!
* Tuesday, Aug. 27: Kurt Braunohler Record Release, Bell House: There is, by now, a pretty standard "big Park Slope comedy show" lineup. Eugene Mirman is there, and likely organizing the thing. Todd Barry often shows up, to please those of us with the best comedy taste (sorrynotsorry). Hannibal Buress is a decent bet. Kristen Schaal once upon a time, before she took wing for Los Angeles -- though she's still back for some of these. And Kurt Braunohler, who is the guest of honor this time. Another thing that's pretty much to be expected is that these shows sell out. So, get on that ticket purchasing jag, y'all. 8pm, $15.