Marty Markowitz Thinks We Should All Lose Our Shirts Down On Coney

 image via the Brooklyn Paper

Here goes Marty endorsing another potentially bad idea: legalized gambling in NYC. And he knows the perfect place to put it... not in Park Slope, of course, but on Coney Island. Since Governor Cuomo is pushing for a constitution amendment to legalize gambling for a ginormous convention center/racino at the Aqueduct in Queens, Marty asks, Why not Brooklyn? And more specifically, why not Coney Island?

Casino gambling ... would bring jobs and revenue to potential locations in New York City, especially Coney Island, which is a natural.

So says Marty in a release via the The Brooklyn Paper. Supporters of the plan, who include the unofficial mayor of Coney Island, Dick Zigun, say it "could be a savior for Coney Island," by making it a year-round fun zone chock full of restaurants, hotels and maybe even casinos. He, like Marty believes that casinos will create jobs and millions of dollars in revenue for the area. 

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Marty Markowitz Has Sent Out His Christmas Card

via The Brooklyn Paper

It's that time of year when the man child who runs this borough sends out his whimsical Christmas card. After trashing bike lanes in last year's card, Marty has turned to reinforcing the more positive accomplishments of Brooklyn in 2011, including:

• A front and center celebration of gay marriage.
• Occupy Wall Street (which includes a reindeer holding an Occupy the North Pole sign).
• Hurricane Irene quickly leaving the scene of the crime. 
• He and his wife being tossed about in the new Coney ride, the slingshot.
• A myriad of Coney Island-themed goodness like the hot dog eating contest and the Polar Bears.
• Prince William and Kate Middleton getting married on the Coney Island boardwalk? (What the eff does that have to do with Brooklyn???????)

Oh Marty you kooky Borough Prez you. Sometimes I think you're just a little too much fun. Let's look at his Christmas greeting to all Brooklynites. It's supposed to be sung to the tune of "It's Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas." Try and sing it and see if it works for you:

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Park Slope needs A Lithuanian bike lane superhero

First the dismissed lawsuit and now THIS! 

It's every PPW bike lane supporter's wet dream: a government official literally mowing down a car illegally parked in the bicycle lane. The mayor of Lithuania's capital, Vilnius, used an armored vehicle to make an example of a Mercedes (of course!) blocking the bicycle path. Mayor Arturas Zuokas, a bicycle enthusiast and small town hero, was quoted in BBC News as saying, "That's what will happen if you park your car illegally."

The video, available on the Vilnus City website was filmed for Swedish TV series, 99 Things You Should Do Before You Die.

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Marty Markowitz Still Has Big Plans For 4th Avenue

FiPS contributor J. Charles is on vacay this week, otherwise he'd be the one to bring you the latest news of Marty Markowitz and his grand plans for 4th Avenue (and by "bring you the news," I mean that he'd make fun of Marty before saying that there isn't actually any real hope for 4th avenue). JC, you are missed this week. OK, moving on:

Our borough prez's dreams of transforming 4th ave into something pretty and safe seem to be getting one step closer to a reality. Marty has formed an elite task force chaired by Chief of Staff Carlo Scissura, and has announced plans, some vague and some specific, for beautifying the strip. Here are the deets, via the Brooklyn Daily Eagle:

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Marty, You Sooo FINE-ed!

by Stefano Giovanni via The Brooklyn Paper

Oh Marty, sometimes I think you make this just a little bit too easy. Once again, Mr. Markowitz has been a bad boy, and this time he's been fined for it! On Monday, a city ethics panel ruled that the Borough President had "abused his government position" by taking his wife Jamie for three overseas trips on the city's dime. His punishment: a $20,000 fine. Although the Prez himself is entitled to a business-related trip with his expenses paid, a plus-one is not allowed unless he plans to pays for her expenses. Well, Marty didn't feel like he had to do any such thing because Jaime is "the First Lady of Brooklyn." Silly Marty, Trix are for kids.

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When Was The Last Time You Actually Used the Yellow Pages?

THIS PHOTO WAS TAKEN IN MY LOBBY...THESE BTCHZ HAVE BEEN SITTING THERE FOR MONTHZ

I can't pinpoint the exact Yellow Pages date for myself, but I'm pretty sure Melrose Place was still on the air...the FIRST one.

ATTN EVERYONE EVERYWHERE ASSOCIATED WITH THE YELLOW PAGES: NO ONE USES THIS SHIT!

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MAGIC 8 BALL SOUNDS OFF ON MARTY MARKOWITZ CAR GATE

Once upon a time, I kinda liked our borough president Marty Markowitz.

I thought he was a jolly little public figure, who laughed a lot at community events and made the borough bright and gay (read both meanings into that word). Once at the Met Opera event in Prospect Park a couple of summers ago he opened the show by declaring we should all enjoy our beverages in covered containers.

Hehehehe... what a funny little man. It's like the Borough President was trying to be my friend.

In my own little twisted fantasy, I pictured him to be this city's next LaGuardia, throwing slot machines into the East River and demanding that when his plane landed, it landed in New York and not in New Jersey.

Then I found out he was a gigantic  little a-hole. Among other things, this was confirmed for me when he chose the wrong side of the bike lane issue...that's when things promptly became personal.

He bitched and moaned and HAD TO sing about how Brooklyn was overrun with bike lanes and then made the most ridiculous statement ever: we were forgetting about cars.

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