STFU Marrieds? The Newlywed Game Is Casting

Are you a disgustingly cutesy, newly married Park Slope/NYC couple desperate for a free trip ANYWHERE but here?

If so, you should totes apply for the new Newlywed game.

Here are the deets:

*You must be married less than two years

*Have great personalities (which true confessions, already eliminates about 50% of our commenters)

*And be able to attend a show taping in NYC.

If you're down with all this bullshit and want to make a fool of yourself on national TV cable TV, send an email with your names, date of wedding, current city and state, and contact email and phone numbers to: castingnewlyweds@gmail.com

Hurry up, ppl...if you've been married for 2 years already your baby making window of opp is wiiiiide open, so you wanna get in this embarrassing reality TV shit over with before you start a fam and have to show up at fucking PTA meetings-n-crap.

Flower Power

Dearest Erica,

I took the liberty of switching out your iphone case.

Love,

Greg

Textpectation: Now She's Pulling Out The Big Guns

Just received the following 5 texts:

1. PHUCK YOU

2. PHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKK U

3. PHUCK YOU YOU PHUCKING PHUCK

4. PHUCKPHUCKPHUCKPHUCK UUUUUUUUUUUUU

5. PHUUUUUUUUCCCKK YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU

While I appreciate her usage of "PH," I'm not yet swayed...

Uh Oh

Ok, I haven't let Erica back in yet, but I'm seriously about to cave.  Just received the following email:

From: Erica

To: Greg

RE: ISWEARTOFUCKINGGODYOUWILLSOONBEDEAD

I AM FUCKING KANYE WEST NUCLEAR ENERGY ANGRY NOW. HAVE YOU EVER RECEIVED AN EMAIL FROM ME ALL IN CAPS???

LET ME THE FUCK BACK IN RIGHT. FUCKING. NOW!!!!!!!!!

THE SITE LOOKS LIKE A DIRTY HIPPIE VOMITED ALL OVER IT. THAT COMMENTER WAS RIGHT...MY EYES ARE BLEEDING.

THIS SO ISN'T FUNNY ANYMORE.

Not sure how much longer I can hold out...

BREAKING: PHISH PHANS PHIGHT BACK!!!!!! Erica's Husband To Lead Phish-a-Lution!

Sorry Erica, I'm doing this for your own good. I've changed your password and taken over the site.

Benjamin wouldn't agree to help me, but he said he wouldn't stop me either. Do not try to login...the current has changed and the Phish are swimming upstream.

I know that having a sense of humor is important, but at the end of the day, it's not right to trash people's beliefs. And that's what a love of Phish is to many different types of people around the four corners of the globe - I don't want to say it's a religion, because that tends to invoke imagery of the conventional "god" systems that have caused so much abuse around the world - but in it's purest form of meaning - that's exactly what being a phish head means.

Click to read more ...

Phish Resources

MAIN SITE http://www.phish.com/

DOWNLOAD THE LATEST SHOWS http://www.livephish.com/

PHISH SUMMER TOUR SCHEDULE: http://jamtopia.com/blog/phish-summer-tour-2009-tickets-dates-more/

SETLISTS http://www.phish.net/

LIVE TWITTER FEED http://search.twitter.com/search?q=%23phish

A few of Erica's favorite bands:

*Britney Spears

*Ja Rule

*Soul Decision

Erica Is Kinda Pissed About This Whole Thing (U Got My Back Guys, Right?)

[gchat log]

12:39AMerica: UHM...wtf???

greg: what? erica: GREG NOT FUNNY i can't get in greg: I have no idea what you are talking about erica: GREG...DO NOT PRETEND THAT YOU DIDN'T LOCK ME THE FUCK OUT THIS IS NOT FUNNY AT ALL 12:40 AMgreg: its kinda funny.. erica: did Ben give you my password? You know what I don't care let me back in NOW HELLO NOW !!!??? greg: its kind of funny erica: dude no it isn't i'm MAD 12:41 AMlike Rahm Emanuel MAD greg: LOL sorry, that post you did yesterday pissed a lot of people off 12:42 AMerica: uh...WHO...I got one marriage proposal and 2 BFF requests everyone agreed with ME seriously you are RETARDED LET ME BACK IN NOW greg: HMMMMMMMM NO you havent learned your lesson erica: ALDSFJASLFDJL;ASJFL;ASJFL;ASJDFL;ASDJFL;SAJDF;LSADJF