WHO GIVES A SHIT: WHERE DO YOU GET YOUR CHANUKAH SUPPLIES IN PARK SLOPE?

Photo via ninedaves. And yep, these Fish's Eddy "heroes of the Torah" glasses DEF make fantastic Christmas gifts.

Hey chosen people: there are only a couple of more days until the festival of lights, aka Chanukah, aka Hanukkah starts on Tues night, and if you're anything like my lazy ass, you've done absolutely nothing to prepare. 

Well, fear not lazy Jews!

There are quite a few spots around Park Slope that you can hit up to get your Heeb on AND keep it local. 

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Park Slope synagogue gets a designer Sukkah

Rendering by Babak Bryan and Henry Grosman

Who said the starctecture trend was over?

As of yesterday, Park Slope's Beth Elohim has a fancy new designer sukkah.

When Sukkot rolls around, most synagogues put up a sukkah, a make-shift praying shelter covered in twigs  much like the ones used by Israelites during their 40-year exile. Not the Beth Elohim synagogue.

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Day Two: MatisyaWHO?

For you, on day two: a Hanukkah miracle.

I heard a live acoustic version of the insta-classic heeb holiday song, Miracle, last night on NPR and fell in love with hassid reggae/hip hop/beatbox singer Matisyahu. And that was before I got a load of this acid trip of a video. 

Put On Your Yarmulke, Here Comes Hanukkah!

Happy Hanukkah, Heebsters! 

And so it begins. Light your menorahs, pull out your dreidels, hold on to your yarmulkes and get ready to partay your way into the light.

FIPS Non-Definitive Guide to Upcoming Festivities in (mostly) Brooklyn:

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Associated Supermarket on 5th Ave Needs a Lesson in "Kosher for Passover"

(via Rob Blatt)

Happy Passover, Bitchez

(via Someecards)

Who Gives A Shit: Which Sexy Assed Jew (Living or Dead) Would You Most Like To Get It On With?

UPDATE (from Good For the Jews' Rob Tannenbaum): Let’s declare a tie for first: A pair of tickets each to mistresspix (“Jesus Christ. I'd crucify him in bed and then he'd rise again in three days for more”) and stegothesaurus (“Gilbert Gottfried. The screaming would be legendary among my neighbors, and I'd be so annoyed by him that we'd have really hot angry sex”). Both are severely disturbed and belong in the front row at Good For the Jews.

Please remind the losers—I mean, the runners-up that tickets are only $12 (less than a movie) using the FIPS discount code. If you have their names, I’ll make sure they’re on the guest list; if you have their emails, I’ll write to them and ask for their names. Thanks!

Ok, so if this question seems totally fucking bizarre to you, I'd understand why.

BUT, it will make total sense when you realize that the answer *could* win you two tix to a Good For the Jews show this Monday, Dec. 7th!

These crazy Heebs are putting the "Ha [back] in Hanukkah" for their 2009 tour. And in case you're not familiar, they do Jewish music for people who hate Jewish music--i.e no songs about dreidels or impromptu Israeli folk dancing.

Their special guest stars will be JDub Records band DeLeon, plus comedians Morgan Murphy and Seth Herzog, Mediaite.com writer Rachel Sklar, and other surprise funny peeps. The tour is sponsored by Jewcy.com.

Here's the scoop:

Monday, December 7, 2009
Doors at 6 pm, show at 8 pm
HighLine Ballroom
431 W. 16th St.
New York, NY 10011
Buy tickets at the HighLine Ballroom box office, online at
www.highlineballroom.com or by phone at 866.468.7619

(DISCOUNT CODE = GFTJ FOR $12 TIX)

Anyway.

So the one simple question of the day is: Which sexy assed Jew, living or dead, would you most like to get it on with and why?(and can I pre-emptively suggest that you do not suggest your wife, girlfriend or such other boring bullshit. Your shit needs to be c-r-e-a-t-i-v-e if you want results).

This time you should leave your email contact info in the comments (erica @ shuthefuckup dot com format is ok), so that we can get in touch with your ass after you drop your witty brilliance all over our faces.

You gotta be in it, to win it, bitches.