HERE ARE SOME THINGS TO GET YOU THROUGH THE REST OF THANKSGIVING WEEKEND (TURKEYPOCALYPSE)

  

Thanksgiving: it's a holiday weekend that really starts with a bang on Thursday, but leaves us having to figure out what to do with our stuffing-stuffed selves for the next few days. Here are some helpful hints of what to do post the Turkeypocalpyse: 

I hate leftovers. I mean, I can eat Thanksgiving Round 2 about 12 hours after I consumed it the first time, but then what? God knows there’s more turkey and fixin’s than I can shake a stick at, and dagwood sandwiches are looking kinda' meh at this point.

Martha Stewart has of course thought of about 2,000 ways to correct our little problem (along with inventing a lot of problems we didn’t even know we had). Here are 35 OF HER BEST-LOOKING POST-THANKSGIVING LEFTOVER RECIPES. Here are my personal favorites of the bunch: 

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Brooklyn-n-SXSW

For those of you that don't know, SXSW is a music, film and interactive/festival confernce that takes place every March in Austin, TX. So now you're probably thinking to yourself: what the fuck does SXSW have to do with me? And believe me: that is a VERY good question.

And the truth is, It might not have anything to do with you...that is if our panel ALLLLL ABOUT BROOKLYN doesn't get picked for next year. We've teamed up with the folks at Brownstoner, Brokelyn and Brooklyn Based for the Brooklyn-iest panel in SXSW panel history. It's gonna be all Brooklyn, all the time all up in that piece.

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[REVERSE ADVICE COLUMN] I’VE BEFRIENDED A HOMELESS MAN. NOW WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO?

Photo Via vivid-i-photography

Recently I’ve contemplated creating some sort of advice column on my blog and/or FIPS. I thoroughly enjoy Time Out New York’s Get Naked: Sex Advice, and Cosmo’s ever knowledgeable and scholarly advice columns featuring questions about spicing it up in the sack (their insightful prose tells us to "try squeezing one of his balls between your thumb and forefinger until they almost touch in the middle"). Honest to God this was an article I read.

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WHO GIVES A SHIT: Why Are There No Cadbury Mini-Eggs At Duane Reade?

Look, ppl.

I don't give a rat's ass about Jesus or Easter or any of that crap. I mean, I'm happy for all you Christian people that you have a great holiday to celebrate-n-shit, but there's only one thing that matters to me about Easter and one thing only: CADBURY MINI EGGS.

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FIPS CARES: Can Someone Please Adopt This Dog??

Ok, so Ollie, Greg-n-I were walking around the park and we ran into this adorable dog Chino.

Chino's mom Carla told me that they were in the park today because they had to give their dog away and fast. Their landlord is threatening to evict them, and as much as they love this little guy, they need to put him in a new home.

She said that she tried contacting local no-kill shelters, but no one was willing to take him. I personally called both BARC and Sean Casey and both are, unfortunately, full right now.

Here's what I know:

*Despite his scary looking collar, he was super friendly with Ollie...they played and wrestled for a few mins and his tail was wagging the whole time.

*He's about 1 years old, and is an American Staffordshire Terrier.

*He has not been fixed.

*I asked Carla if he was good with kids and she said "oh yeah, he loves everyone." Though, in fairness, there weren't any kids around so who knows.

*He's got "a lot of energy."

*He's beautfiul, and has really nice tan/white coloring.

*He's house trained.

If you're interested in Chino, please call Carla at 347-922-3274.

They really need to figure out a solution fast, so get in touch ASAP if you can help (or know anyone who can).

Chino needs a great new home!

FIPS CARES: FREE ADVICE FOR LOCAL PARK SLOPE BUSINESSES

Ok, so my war with Smartmom over this whole idea of "community responsibility" has brought up some good points. And while I still believe wholeheartedly that it's not up to me to help support some shitty Park Slope business just for the sake of embracing my community, as I mentioned, I'm more than happy to support the businesses out there are that don't suck and who are really trying.

I have some ideas....and my guess is you bitches do too. So this is where we let loose.

ATTENTION BUSINESS OWNERS OF PARK SLOPE: IF YOU WANNA HEAR WTF WE ALL WANT, KEEP READING. SCROLL DOWN INTO THE COMMENTS AND HEAR THE PEOPLE. WE PROBABLY HAVE SOME PRETTY FUCKING GOOD IDEAS.

In order to get this party started, here are some ideas from the FIPS crew:

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DUCKED IN PARK SLOPE

Yo, can nobody hold onto their shit anymore in this stupid neighborhood?

Here's a poster from the 7th Avenue F train station, where someone lost a Black Swan-esque umbrella and is "totally heartbroken over the loss."

That's the Park Slope I know and love: war, earthquakes, and nuclear radiation ain't gonna stop your game when you lose your beloved duck umbrella.