Honeymoon on the Gowanus: Nothing Says Romance Like Superfund

 

Ah, young love. How it inspires the heart so! In fact, I feel a poem coming on:

FIPS sends congrats on this day of your wedding
Despite the bummer news of BALLER status shedding
Now do as newlyweds and retire to your bed
Just know we told you so when the Gowanus gives your offspring six heads

Thanks to Patricia Henry for the photo!

Watch HBO and Drink Cocktails in Gowanus! Yay!

What's a True Blood fan to do when, two weeks after moving and four cancelled Time Warner cable installation appointments (all by the company and only one hurricane related), you STILL don't have HBO? You might think the answer is to make sock puppet mock ups of the principal characters and put on your own True Blood Sock Puppet Theater, but you'd be wrong. The right answer is to head around the corner to a new-ish, perfectly charming, neighborhood bar that just happens to host a True Blood/Curb Your Enthusiam/Entourage viewing party EVERY Sunday night!

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Non-Profit Takes From Hollywood, Gives to Gowanus

Photo via digitalpolyphon

Do you live in or around Gowanus? Did Hurricane Irene fuck your shit up? Why go to the Red Hook Ikea for a new kitchen set you can’t afford when you could have Edward Norton’s from Fight Club? Why overpay at Lowe’s to rebuild your fence when you could use spare lumber from the set of whatever Nicholas Cage movie is shooting in the ‘hood today?

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Gowanus Woman Mummifies Frogs

Photo by Diane Hodson / Via Park Slope PatchA Gowanus woman -- more specifically, a necromancer, blood sorceress, licensed funeral director and pet mummifier -- teaches others how to swathe post-mortem frogs. Got $400 and a dead french bulldog? She'll mummify that shit too. Read all about it HERE.

[Via Park Slope Patch]

Party Barges, Bridges and Oysters: Welcome to the Gowanus of the Future

Imagine by Gowanus By Design

Confession: I'm moving to Gowanus. And even though I found a beautiful apartment, ponied up a giant brokers fee and signed a lease - I still toss and turn with ambivalence most nights. The first thing out of my mouth after I tell people I'm moving to the area is "do you think I made a mistake?" With that in mind, I made an eager study of the winners and finalists in the recent design competition sponsored by Carroll Gardens based non-profit, Gowanus by Design. Entries came from nearly 200 urban planners and designers around the world -- and while none are likely to be realized, I found it incredibly heartening that people in such far flunch locales as Brazil and Finland might take an interest in my soon-to-be little slice of Brooklyn! 

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Gowanus Artists Are Losing Their Lofts to a Park Slope School

Artists residing at the 270 Douglass Street lofts in Gowanus were IRATE upon learning that their space is going to be converted into a new charter school serving Park Slopers. The building is filled with clothing designers, photographers, and artists of other mediums who are pissed -- not at the school, but at their shady landlord (imagine that -- a shady landlord). The dude's been scheming behind their backs, replacing and moving things around in their leases so that he can kick them out at the drop of a hat.

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Sick Of Paying Rent? Live in the Grosswanus Canal!

We all know it's expensive as balls to live in NYC, which is why I'm a WEE BIT jealous of the Brooklynites who discovered a loophole to living rent-free under the radar. Granted, if they step out into the "yard" they'll probably emerge looking like some slimy Rocky Dennis with a gazillion nasty diseases. But still -- their disfigured asses wouldn't be paying a fucking penny to live in the highest-priced city in this here US of A.

A gaggle of hipsters and one environmentalist occupy four houseboats that are currently docked in the toxic stinkfest that we know as the Gowanus Canal (Which, in the case of the hipsters who are just sunbathing in orange thongs and pooping GODKNOWSWHERE, is kind of gross). But for environmentalist Adam Katzman, this lifestyle is an experiment.

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