TAKE THAT, GORILLA! The Youth Will Rebel With Plush Toys

This holiday season, wanna make sure your anti-Gorilla Coffee campaign makes it down to the small blob in your home that may resemble a person in a few years? Start brainwashing 'em early:

Cute, cuddly, twenty-five bucks. (Future therapy and nightmare insurance not included.)

Now that I've personal-shopped your asses, anyone wanna head to Grumpy on 7th Avenue and get me a skim cap? (Even if it didn't make the TONY's Best Coffee in Brooklyn list.) I've been stuck home with the plague and would highly appreciate it.

Holiday Gift FIPStravaganza: Day Five [Dog Obsessed Friends-n-Drunks]

This is our week-long dive head first into the trenches of holiday gift shopping, Park Slope style. Buy local, bitches! Unless, of course, you enjoy walking past empty storefronts every ten feet. In today's edition we cover dog obsessed pals and drunks.

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Holiday Gift FIPStravaganza: Day Four [Brooklyn Snobs-n-Weepy Lifetime Channel Movie Addicts]

This is our week-long dive head first into the trenches of holiday gift shopping, Park Slope style. Buy local, bitches! Unless, of course, you enjoy walking past empty storefronts every ten feet. In today's edition we cover BK snobs and sensitive cry babies.

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Holiday Gift FIPStravaganza: Day Three [Foodies-n-Design Gurus]

This is our week-long dive head first into the trenches of holiday gift shopping, Park Slope style. Buy local, bitches! Unless, of course, you enjoy walking past empty storefronts every ten feet. In today's edition we cover foodies and Dwell subscribing Design snobs.

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Holiday Gift FIPStravaganza: Day Two [Hippie Friends-n-Dorks]

This is our week-long dive head first into the trenches of holiday gift shopping, Park Slope style. Buy local, bitches! Unless, of course, you enjoy walking past empty storefronts every ten feet. In today's edition we cover douchey granola-eating friends and Lovable Dorks.

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Holiday Gift FIPStravaganza: Day One [Co-Workers-n-BREEDERS]

This is our week-long dive head first into the trenches of holiday gift shopping, Park Slope style. Buy local, bitches! Unless, of course, you enjoy walking past empty storefronts every ten feet. In today's edition we cover annoying co-workers and BREEDERS.

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The Holiday Gift FIPStravaganza

The holidays are upon us, and since we all hate the Atlantic Center Mall as much as Tiger Woods’ wife hates him right about now (can you imagine what THAT place was like on Black Friday?  I’m shuddering), we decided to compile a list of cool gifts you can get for the various dbags in your life.

Each day, we’ll give you a bunch of gift suggestions for two of the people who fall into these ten gift-buying categories:

1. Co-worker you hate but have to pretend to like
2. Breeder friend and/or their bitch-ass kids
3. Douchey granola-eating, Birkenstock-wearing hippie friend
4. The drunk in your life
5. Lovable nerds (and/or your dorky kid brother)
6. Home design gurus
7. Overly sentimental "spirit guide" friends who constantly remind you of their life motto: “LIVE, LAUGH, LOVE.”
8. Fur baby mamas-n-daddies
9. Foodie friends
10. Brooklyn snobs

All of the gifts we’ve picked are a.) relatively affordable and b.) can be bought right here in Park Slope (more specifically, on 7^th or 5^th avenues).  So stay tuned for FIVE DAYS of cool shit (via crappy iPhone photos, smart ass, potentially-offensive commentary, and an occasional high-res photo we googled when we got home). 

True confessions: doesn’t it feel nice to know that you can get all of your holiday shopping done without even having to get on the subway?  Good thing, too, because the F train isn’t running again. Or is it?  Who even fucking knows anymore?

Happy holidays!