No One Wants to Hear "SHIT PARK SLOPE PARENTS SAY"

The NY Daily News recently reported that a Park Slope mommy is collecting material to make her very own "Shit Park Slope Parents Say" video.

Please take a moment and let this fully sink in (but resist the urge to set your computer on fire. After all...it belongs to the company).

As if we need ANOTHER "Shit _____ Says" video. I actually can't fathom something less funny than Park Slope parents reciting their inane babbling in a quickly-clipped internet video that will for sure not have Juliette Lewis in it (if Buscemi is included, however, I will reconsider this entire post).

Click to read more ...

In Search Of The Next Aflac Fuck...Errm...I Mean Duck

I'm sure most of you are aware that Gilbert Gottfried, voice of the ever popular and obnoxious Aflac Duck, got canned a few weeks ago as a result of cracking Japan jokes on Twitter.

As I was scanning the interwebs this morning instead of working, I came across this CNN clip of retarded hopefuls auditioning to become the next Aflac Duck. I really hope to god these aren't the best they could find. Maybe they should come audition some people from Park Slope, or atleast take it to the streets of NYC?

I bet a toothless, drunk and raspy voiced homeless man would make a great replacement...sort of like the next Golden Voice Kraft whatever the fuck his name was dude.

Click to read more ...

T-Mobile Owes Park Slope Some Free Cell Phone Service Or Some Shit

They're sponging off our "brand." Sheesh!

Billboard spotted on the West Side Highway, FYI.

(via @ParkSlopeGossip)

Biggest Story of 2010?: Brooklyn, Natch

HAAAAAA!

Ok, this is pretty hilars. Morning Joe apparently did a show recently where each of the guests were talking about what they thought the big story of 2010 was. And Brian Williams hilariously suggested that the biggest story of the year was the NYT's fascination with Brooklyn:

"There are young men and women wearing ironic glass frames on the streets. There are open air markets, like trading posts in the early Chippewa tribe, where you can make beads at home and then trade them for someone to come over and start a small fire in your apartment that you share with nine others. Artisinal cheeses are for sale ON THE STREETS"

(via Gothamist)

Peen At The Tot Lot

Start em early folks...start em E-A-R-L-Y.

(via Princess Party Amazing)

The Day That GoGo Gowanus Beat Us at Our Own Game

In response to our "Fuck You York" post, we got this hilarious photo from one of our favorite commenters, GoGo Gowanus. 

Yeah!  Fuck you, FIPS!  Right in your fucking face!

I DO NOT 'LIKE' YOUR BLOG!

Happy Holiday weekend everyone! This has gotz to be my, hands down, favorite submission I have ever received at FIPS HQ. Behold the best email of all friggin time

Squarespace Services  to me

show details 2:19 PM (1 minute ago)

This email was transmitted via www.fuckedinparkslope.com.

------------------------------

Your Name: xxxxxx Mxxxxxx
Your Email:
Subject: Remove my name from your site

Message: I have been told that my name is listed as someone who "likes" this website. It must be an error and I would like it removed.

I do not want to be associated with people who think that using language like that on a social chat site is okay - guess you don't know how easy it is for children of all ages to get onto the site and then think that adults think it's okay to use language that is not used at home but can be used for everyone to see.

It's sad that you all think this is permissable but I think you don't have an intelligent vocabulary.

Remove my name please - immediately.

Thank you.

WOW, WOW, WOW, OH WOOOOOOW.

Ok, let's break this shit down:

• What in the MOTHER FUCK is a "social chat site?" Cause whatever the fuck a social chat site is, FIPS ain't one of em. Nobody "chats" around here...its pretty much all yelling, all the time.
• I say fuck both at home AND not at home. Do you only say it when you're not at home? So for ex. it's ok to say fuck at the grocery store, but not when you're watching an ep of The Hills?? Cause that shit is BANANAS.
• Who is "telling you" that your "name is listed as someone who likes" our site? Was it a voice in your head? I'm guessing you're getting an eensy weensy bit confused with THE INTERNET and FACEBOOK. Facebook is a place you go to like or not like all sorts of things, and FIPS is a place you to go to NOT like everything. Get it?

Please come back and read this post and comment, oh crazy wo/man. It would make me oh so happy!