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Diktionary

*BALLER - n. Kid free-n-lovin it

*BFI - n. Brilliant fucking idea

*BREEDER - n. Baby maker

*BR-ALLER - n. a BREEDER who's proven themselves to be cool enough that, despite their tendencies to procreate, can still maintain the basic principles of a BALLER attitude and lifestyle.

*COOPRETARD - n. Any annoying person who works at the Park Slope Food Coop

*D.I.N.K-n. Dual income, no kids

*FIPS - n. Fucked in Park Slope; the most badass'd blog on the dub dub dub

*SILTH - n. Sloper I'd Like To Hurt

*SAHM (or "SHAM") - n. Stay At Home Mom

 *SCHADENFOER - n. The feeling of envy and/or hate toward literary wunderkind and Park Slope resident, Jonathan Safran Foer

I'm A BR-ALLER

My Bebe Is Cuuute

I'm Oliver...and I'm hawt

Entries in FIPS Cares (28)

Tuesday
Aug242010

FIPS CARES: The Do Gooder Awards

So, The Brooklyn Community Foundation wants all you bitches to "do good right here" in the BK. I mean, like I'm sure they want you to do good e-v-e-r-y-w-h-e-r-e, but yeah: SPECIFICALLY here in Brooklyn. And they're so into this idea, they're giving out awards for the biggest and the baddest do gooders.

Only hitch is, they have no fucking clue where these do gooders are. Clearly they're not here on FIPS, but maybe you know where some of these bitches are? Cause if so, you should nominate them. They're taking noms from now through September 30, and then the voting kicks off on October 1st.

"We invite the larger Brooklyn community to submit nominations for those who they believe embody the highest value of community service and philanthropy; exceptional individuals who display an outstanding sense of giving back locally--with time, talent and/or charity. Candidates should work in one of the Foundation's five fields of interest: Arts for All, Caring Neighbors, Community Development, Education and Youth Achievement and Green Communities and have demonstrated a commitment to Brooklyn."

5 Do gooder winners will be chosen and each will be given 5k toward their indiv. charity or org. So yeah, if you know any non-assholes who remind you not at all of us, nominate em.

More info here. Or follow the Do Gooders on Twitter here

Monday
Aug092010

FIPS (kind of) Cares: PARROT ON THE LOOSE

Usually, FIPS Cares puts us on orange terror alert for missing dogs, but when I was walking along 12th street yesterday afternoon, I came across this little gem:

That's right—we've got a PARROT on the loose.  His name is Tango, and he says things like "Come on" and "Hello."  So if you're walking down the street and you come across a bird that says hello to you, call 917-364-8768.

Monday
Jul122010

FIPS CARES: Dogz Up For Adoption

That's right, sometimes we care, and we're not ashamed to admit it. I came across TWO great puppies from two separate families who have to give their pooches up because of change in their living situations. Just so happens they both have a little Lab in them!

The brown hairball of cuteness is Knut. He is a 4 year old Lab/Pit mix. He's a real sweetheart, who loves other dogs and kids, but ain't so hot on cats. Knut has been living on a farm for the last few years; his fam just relocated to Brooklyn and now they have to give him up... So they're looking to find a new loving home for Knut. If you know anyone who can help, e-mail Michael at michaeldolannyc-at-gmail-dot-com.

Now, if none of you bitchz has ever known the singular joy of owning an older dog, you have been MISSING OUT. Meet Luca, a sweet 8-year-old Lab mix who lives with a family on Roosevelt Island. In his aged wisdom, Luca is great with kids, people and dogs. He is neutered, microchipped and up to date on all vaccines. Obvs it's very hard for the family to let Luca go (I mean, dude's MICROCHIPPED, ppl!), but their child has severe allergies. I have a spesh place in my heart for the older dogs, since I know how grateful they are for a place to just chill out and be loved (but mostly chill out!) If interested or have any questions and would like to meet Luca, you should email at Susan at sarcelay-at-verizon-dot-net

Let's do something to help these pooches! Why should you give a shit? Cuz we may be helping your ass next.
Monday
Jun282010

FIPS CARES: WANNABE PSLOPE BALLER?

Can we talk about why I stay finding myself down in general vicinity of Park Slope but am not even close to being a resident?

Click to read more ...

Monday
Jun142010

FIPS Cares: Show Me The Money

The husband has a new(ish) mantra that goes something like this...

"You want (fill in the blank: to go to Vienna for Christmas? to buy a front door? to pay the bills?) Get a job!"

To which I reply:

"I have a job. In fact, I have many jobs."

To which he replies:

"A real job. As in one that involves a salary and perhaps a subway."

Yes, I'm getting the distinct sense that my time of playing June to his Ward is drawing to a close.

I'm with him. In principle.

Click to read more ...

Friday
Jun042010

FIPS CARES: Don't Ask, Don't Tell Can Go Suck It

Look: I don't want to get into a whole convo on this issue cause if you think "don't ask, don't tell" is a good rule for our country to have, then I think you're an asshole. Bottom line is: Now that the house voted to repeal, we're close to coming correct on this ish and we all need to pitch in.

So if you're NOT an asshole, you should totally sign Prez O's petition, and get other non-asshole peeps you know to sign it too so that we can officially repeal this bullshit once and for all.

Let's make it happen bleeding heart liberal hippie haven Park Slope!

Wednesday
Apr212010

FIPS CARES: The Doormen Strike

image via GothamistAnyone have some tips for our fine FIPS reader?

"Hi there - would you be willing to entertain my question about how my wife and I can move in to the new apartment we are renting from the owner in a co-op building during the potential doorman strike?  I can't be the only person experiencing this...and we are actually trying to move into the building to save money.

So far, everyone - building management, the RAB,the CNYC has said I have to hold off on my move, But this is my personal property, so do the "house rules" apply without the doorman? What legal precedents exist? If I end up without either place who would be responsible to pay for the in-between housing, storage costs, work time lost, etc..."

I'm no lawyer, but I'm guessing this dude would be SOL. Anyone?