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Diktionary

*BALLER - n. Kid free-n-lovin it

*BFI - n. Brilliant fucking idea

*BREEDER - n. Baby maker

*BR-ALLER - n. a BREEDER who's proven themselves to be cool enough that, despite their tendencies to procreate, can still maintain the basic principles of a BALLER attitude and lifestyle.

*COOPRETARD - n. Any annoying person who works at the Park Slope Food Coop

*D.I.N.K-n. Dual income, no kids

*FIPS - n. Fucked in Park Slope; the most badass'd blog on the dub dub dub

*SILTH - n. Sloper I'd Like To Hurt

*SAHM (or "SHAM") - n. Stay At Home Mom

 *SCHADENFOER - n. The feeling of envy and/or hate toward literary wunderkind and Park Slope resident, Jonathan Safran Foer

I'm A BR-ALLER

My Bebe Is Cuuute

I'm Hawt

Entries in FIPS Cares (18)

Monday
08Feb2010

FIPS CARES: Xena the Pussycat

FIPS cares! (really...we do).

Ok everyone, listen up! We have another FIPS CARES community assignment. Why the fuck should you care? Cause maybe we'll be helping your ass next.

Xena the cat needs our help:

Dear FIPS,

As an avid reader of yours, i am turning to you for help. i can't rely on my normal BREEDER folks for help in this situation, b/c the problem stems from my procreation. Here's the scoop:

Click to read more ...

Thursday
31Dec2009

FIPS CARES: No Fracking Way!

Last time I checked, tap water shouldn’t be flammable.

So it gives me serious agita when I hear that 230 mystery toxins may be coming to a glass of water near me (and you), courtesy of our deeply suckish Governor.

Click to read more ...

Tuesday
22Dec2009

Shame on You 71 8th Ave

You know when they do those evening news segments where they help out some enraged community member by having the newscaster confront a deadbeat landlord, scheming business owner or some other obvious asshole? And you watch and cheer on as said asshole is embarrassed on national local TV in front of hundreds of thousands of people?

Right, well FIPS is gettin into that game too.

Today's FIPS "Shame on you, mofo!" award is going to the owner/owners of the building at 71 8th Avenue at the corner of 8th and Union Street. Whoever this sonofabitch tit is, they never, ever, ever, never, never shovel up all the goddamned snow in front (AND on the side of) their goddmaned building. And its *really* friggin annoying.

Click to read more ...

Thursday
29Oct2009

UPDATE: Jonathan Ames Wants Our Tivo

Yeah, so its looking like Jonathan Ames *might* be down for taking our Tivo.

Dream big, people! Soon after posting our Tivo offer yesterday morn, I received the above tweet back from JA himself.

Click to read more ...

Friday
23Oct2009

Man, These Senior BALLERS are BITCHES

Yes, kids are annoying as shit, but jaysus.

This retirement community in Florida wants to chase out this little red-headed 6-year-old girl whose mamz is buying crack pipes at the bodega. While her mom is gettin all Whitney Houston'd up, she's shacking up with granny and gramps, but as she's a wee bit under the age of 55, and their lovely little house is located smack dab in the middle of a retirement community, the senior BALLERS are p-i-s-s-e-d.

Grandma and Grandpa are willing to leave, but they can't sell their house because of the recesh-n-all, and their daughter is a crackhead, and man, the whole thing is just sad, sad, sad.

Hey, I know! Maybe Park Slope Parents can do a fundraiser for them?! And buy their house! And then start like a community, co-op time share program in Florida for stressed out Park Slope parents?? They can plant an organic garden, and hang hemp curtains and shit!

FIPS CARES!

(via Buzzfeed)

Thursday
01Oct2009

FIPS CARES: Wedding Photos 911

FIPS cares! (really...we do).

Ok everyone, listen up! We have another FIPS CARES community assignment. Why the fuck should you care? Cause maybe we'll be helping your ass next.

Emily needs our help:

I'm a regular reader who lives in & loves PS. I'm getting married this weekend in PS.  Yeah!  Only thing is, the weather is probably going to suck, big time.  Do you think you could help me by asking if people know of any place where a happy couple might be able to take some indoor pictures w/ their folks?
Help me FIPS, you're my only hope!
Cheers,
Emily

Hmm...what do you guys think??

The Montauk Club could be cool, but they usually have events there on weekends (and I'm not sure they'll let you just waltz on in). Same goes for Picnic House in Prospect Park. Maybe the main branch of the Public Library in Grand Army Plaza? A subway station for some fun shots? (I would go for 2/3 at Grand Army Plaza as its the "cleanest" in the nabe). Any other ideas?

Let's show Emily that FIPS CARES!

Tuesday
18Aug2009

FIPS CARES: ROOMMATES & HEROES

FIPS cares! (really...we do).

Ok everyone, listen up! We have some more FIPS CARES community assignments. Why the fuck should you care? Cause maybe we'll be helping your ass next.

Click to read more ...