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I'm A BR-ALLER

Diktionary

*BALLER - n. Kid free-n-lovin it

*BFI - n. Brilliant fucking idea

*BREEDER - n. Baby maker

*BR-ALLER - n. a BREEDER who's proven themselves to be cool enough that, despite their tendencies to procreate, can still maintain the basic principles of a BALLER attitude and lifestyle.

*COOPRETARD - n. Any annoying person who works at the Park Slope Food Coop

*D.I.N.K-n. Dual income, no kids

*FIPS - n. Fucked in Park Slope; the most badass'd blog on the dub dub dub

*SILTH - n. Sloper I'd Like To Hurt

*SAHM (or "SHAM") - n. Stay At Home Mom

 *SCHADENFOER - n. The feeling of envy and/or hate toward literary wunderkind and Park Slope resident, Jonathan Safran Foer

Entries in F train (20)

Wednesday
Jan112012

Cool Or Not Cool: Letting Your Kids Eat On The Subway? 

 

Obnoxious kids in bars & eateries are one thing. But how about those families who choose to have the kiddos eat their meals on public transportation? What could go wrong, you might ask? Just witness the unfurling disaster in the above photo. Last Sunday, this familial unit's Happy Meals and 2 dropped coffees explode all over a Brooklyn-bound F Train.

Click to read more ...

Monday
Dec052011

Is this Dude on the F Train a Hopeless Romantic, or Total Creep?

[VIA GAWKER]

Meet Joe (I'm not actually sure this is his name, but for all intents and purposes, let's just call him that). On Friday morning, Joe was spotted by a Gawker tipster on the F train in Brooklyn. He was wearing a sandwich board with a giant print of him and his ex-girlfriend, and a message that read "I LOVE THIS GIRL! PLEASE HELP ME GET A SECOND CHANCE." Joe then asked F train passengers to sign the board, and to leave messages that would encourage the ex girlfriend to forgive and take him back.

As you can see from the picture, people were clearly doing it (though judging from what I've seen people write on the subway, I can only assume some of those notes just read "cock"). Whether or not this actually lead to Joe getting his ex-girlfriend back, we'll probably never know. But that shouldn't stop us from completely picking Joe apart for his choices, should it?

Click to read more ...

Friday
Nov252011

More Details Emerge About Park Slope Train Stabbing

Emil Benjamin / Via The Daily News

This past Monday there was a stabbing on a train in Park Slope. The details were vague at first -- was the man 29 or 30? Was it a G or an F train? What prompted the attack? -- but have since come together to paint a pretty fucked up picture.

30 year-old Emil Benjamin and his brother were on an F train around 9:40PM when two men approached and started hurling anti-Semitic slurs at them.

"They said, 'You're nobody, you Jewish bastard,' " Benjamin told the Daily News

The men then jumped Benjamin, and the pummeling spilled from the train onto the platform once the train stopped at the 4th ave/9th street station. Benjamin landed a good punch on one of the guys, at which time they fled. That's when he realized he'd been stabbed.

Click to read more ...

Thursday
Aug042011

The F Train Can Second As Your Personal Closet!

Live in a small Brooklyn studio with like, ZERO closet space? Need someplace to store your shit? NO FUCKING PROBLEM, NEW YORKER! Just bring your suits and boxes of family photos and anal beads'nwhatever onto the F train! Because what's ours is yours, and what you are is infuriating. 

[Thanks to FIPS reader Larissa for sending this in!]

Tuesday
May102011

Hey, 15th Street: You're Gettin' Yer Trains Back!

Just as the shitty weather is starting to die down (*insert angered heavens and great floods here*), 15th Street and Fort Hamilton pals, your F and G train service is a-comin' back. And there goes the last few months of getting a seat, 7th Ave.

Many thanks to our buds, The Windsor Terrace Blog, for noticing and allowing us to gratutiously swipe their photo.

Wednesday
Apr132011

UPDATE: The MTA Is Like, Fixing the Turnstiles or Something! Or Something.

On Monday, I bitched about the turnstiles at the 7th Avenue F/G stop being an inconsistent piece of crap. And wheee! You agreed that there's an ish here that's not just in my whacked-out head. So, FIPS reader Steve (you go, Steve!) decided to take action and write the Ye Olde MTA about the sitch:

Customer (Steve Pav) - 02/16/2011 02:32 PM

Why are the 2 turnstiles (they are the big ones that are like human cages) always problematic when it comes to swiping? The lines back up and everyone gets frustrated because they do not read cards well at all - can something be done about this? I have seen the cleaner there, but it rarely improves the swipe. C'mon, I now pay 104 bucks a month, last thing I want is to have more delays because of poor equipment.

Thanks

And lo! Behold! The MTA wrote Steve back in fewer than 24 hours. (You get points for this, MTA!).

Click to read more ...

Monday
Apr112011

What's the Deal With the 7th Avenue F/G Stop Turnstiles?

OK, seriously, what the hell is going on with the turnstiles at the 7th Avenue stop?

I don't know about you people who enter on the 8th Ave side, but nearly every freaking morning for the last few months I--and every other commuter trying to get on a train at nine A.M. at the 7th Avenue entrance--encounter a ridiculous queue to swipe in, like thirty people deep at each gate. Some mornings the thing won't take anyone's effing MetroCard, and like 95% of us have to walk around. (Tragic, I know, save it.)

Listen, I know how to swipe a MetroCard (and before you run your mouth, you know your I-Live-Here selves get really embarrassed when you're prompted to swiped again, so save that, too), and while I know that there are some seriously turnstile-challenged residents of our humble neighborhood, this shit isn't our fault.

MTA WHAT IS THE DEAL. THE DEAL. WHAT IS IT. ANSWERS. I NEEDS THEM.

Photo: Park Slope Lens