Whassup: Super Sports (Not Really) Edition

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Here it is, all you Park Slope graphic designers and aspiring slam poets: your chance to act like you care about sports for a few hours. Or, at least, to eat greasy snacks and enjoy some mildly entertaining, horrifyingly expensive commercials. It's Super Bowl week, and NY has got a horse in the race. I won't tell you which one (you'll have to use Google for that), but let's just say the quarterback looks seriously Aspergery and his last name rhymes with Panning. Anyhoo -- lest you forget amidst all the athleticism, there's also a bunch to do in this 'hood that doesn't involve large men grunting (depending on your date). Welcome to Whassup: Super Sports (Not Really) Edition:

* Thursday, Feb. 2: Obama Talk, Beth Elohim: Jodi Kantor, author of the upcoming tome on the First Couple, "The Obamas," talks about the coolest presidential pair with the Park Sloper all of us wannabe writer Park Slopers love to hate: Jonathan Safran-Foer. I hope he asks her why she didn't mess with the font size more in her book because that's what really makes great literature. 7:30pm, FREE (but RSVP requested).

* Saturday, Feb. 4: Grease Sing-Along, Bell House: Be honest. Do you not, at least secretly, want to sing along to Grease with a room full of friends and strangers? Ok, that was my foolproof test to check if someone is human. All of you aliens are totally busted. Humans, go sing. 8pm, $10.

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Whassup: Death of a Paw Edition

Jaguar Love at Southpaw, 2008 (by Dig the Well)

With the news of the Slope's old-school music venue Southpaw closing, I'm gonna list you one Southpaw show until the place croaks Feb. 20. But, never fear if even sentiment won't get you into their be-stickered walls, there's plenty else in the 'hood to do. Welcome to Whassup: Death of a Paw Edition: 

* Friday, Jan. 27: Singer-Songwriter Night, Roots Cafe: South Slope java shack, Roots, is an impossibly cozy and neighborhoody place to fill up on caffeine and MacBook juice. Most of the baristas are also musicians, and so the little spot hosts an equally cozy singer-songwriter review most Fridays. Stop in, pick up a bag of Stumptown, and stomp your boots. 8pm, FREE. 

* Saturday, Jan. 28: SomethingatSouthpaw, Southpaw: This week, it's one of my favorite regular events that (hopefully) will find a new home: Dig Deeper, a monthly showcase of old soul and R&B. Eula Cooper croons with one of the series' house bands. 9pm Doors, $12.

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Whassup: Ain't Got Time to Hibernate Edition

Well, it's finally gotten as cold as it's supposed to this time of year, which means you have a choice: hibernate beneath layers of blankets and takeout-derived fat, or decide to interpret those erect nipples not as a normal, physiological response to the temperature, but as an abnormal excitement for life. Go with the latter and get out there to enjoy the Slope with Whassup: Ain't Got Time to Hibernate Edition:

* Thursday, Jan. 19: Rejection Show w/Ted Leo, Littlefield: Originally conceived (I think) as a showcase for rejected jokes, the Rejection Show has branched into music. Come hear the songs that tasteless assholes said were no good -- from punky singer-songwriter Ted Leo (of the Pharmacists) and others. 7:30pm Doors, $8-10.

* Friday, Jan. 20: The Marijuana-Logues, Bell House: Dude. Duude, like...totally. What if...what if? Oh, man. 8pm, $10.

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Whassup: 2012, Bitches! Edition

Have you stopped writing 2011 on all your checks yet? Stop living in the past -- no one uses checks anymore. Step into the brave, new, plastic future with Whassup: 2012, Bitches! Edition:

* Thursday, Jan. 12: Big Balls, Rock Shop: What's gonna save an AC/DC tribute band from old-rock-guy lameness? How about a sultry, blonde, female front (wo)man? Yeah, that'll do it. Big Balls covers High Voltage in honor of the album's 35th anniversary. Do you have the, what's the word I'm looking for? Cajones? 7:30pm, $8-10.

* Saturday, Jan. 14: Gowanus Art Fair, Gowanus Ballroom: I know it, I can hear you out there: why can't I find more art associated with Superfund sites? Well, here's your chance. The Gowanus Art Fair collects a big, indie helping of one-act plays, bands, and visual artists' work. 6pm-2am, $10.

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Whassup: Keepin' it Hot Edition

via thechedda.com

Hey! HEY! Are you awake yet? I know the after-effects of holiday binge-eating, New Year's hangovers, and hibernation-inducing Celsius plunges might have you thinking of staying inside until NYC thaws. Don't do it! You live in Brooklyn, and if you're not going to have fun, who is? The terrorists? Yep. That's who. Stay active with Whassup: Keepin' it Hot Edition:

* Thursday, Jan. 5: CasHank Sing-a-long, Freddy's: Local, old-school country ringmaster Alex Battles leads the (once-again) monthly CasHank Hootenanny Jamboree. Bring an instrument (that can include your stompin' boots and/or twanged-out vocals) and join in, or just enjoy some lively (read: pretty drunken) renditions of Johnny Cash and Hank Williams classics. 8:30pm, FREE.

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Whassup: A Whole New Year Edition

Have you got your walk-of-shame outfit and hangover cures all lined up? Good, you're set for the New Year. In the meantime, enjoy all the fun to be had in the peri-New-Year's period with Whassup: A Whole New Year Edition:

* Friday, Dec. 30: DJs His N Hers, Bell House: Bummed you didn't nab tix in time for the sold out Ted Leo and the Pharmacists show? Well, drag your hipster ears down to the Bell House anyway, where the Brooklyn-based DJs His N Hers will be spinning discs of music nerddom in the front room while Leo rocks the back stage. Maybe you'll find a scalper. At the very least, you'll likely expand your musical knowledge. 9:30pm, FREE.

* Saturday, Dec. 31: Check out our guide to NEW YEAR'S happenings in the Slope!

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Whassup: All the Ho's Edition

via lolglobe.com

I don't know if you've heard, but Sunday is a big holiday -- one perhaps rivaling Black Friday in importance. Yep, Christmas is upon us; the time of year when New York cloaks itself in the imagery of classic movies and apartment after apartment of lonely single people cry into their overly-spiked eggnog. Your friendly Whassup writer finds himself in the heartland awaiting snow, but for those of you still in the Slope, prepare to jingle your bells: It's Whassup: All the Ho's Edition:

* Through Christmas: Dyker Lights, Dyker Heights: If you've got some sturdy retinas, a tolerant Holiday-cheer-gag-reflex, and preferably access to a car, trek out to the further reaches of Brooklyn for Dyker Heights' extravaganza of Christmas lights. It's all the glowing Christianity you'll need until Christ appears before you on your death bed in all His glory. And, if that doesn't happen, well, you will have peaked in Dyker Heights. Best viewing, 7-9pm.

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