photo: BrownstonerHope you bitches are hongry, cause there are like 10 new Park Slope restaurants sheduled to open every day for the rest of the month. Ok, fine, not 10, but shit be poppin around here:

• There is a new bagel place opening a block away from the N. Slope La Bagel Delight: Bagel Market. This confuses me, except the owner claims they are going to ALSO have Hale & Hearty soups, a salad bar and sit down eating. Ohhhhkay, then why the fuck do you also need bagels? Why not just go the salad route? WHY WON'T ANYONE OPEN UP A MOTHERFUCKING SALAD PLACE AROUND HERE??? WE NEED A CHOPT OR SOMETHING! (via Brownstoner)
• Naruto Ramen, a Japanese noodle joint on the UES plans to open up another spot in the old 3R Living space on 5th Ave. (via Zagat)
• Maria's Mexican Bistro on Union has now magically morphed into Mama Rosa Latin Bistro, thanks to the owners of Los Politos III that are taking this shit over. The food is allegedly gonna be more Colombian/Spanish influenced. (via Zagat)
• Rob Blatt told me there was a South Brooklyn Pizza opening up next to Cherry Tree on 4th Ave.
• I haven't seen any pics yet, but a tipster told me that there was a note on Bussaco's door about how they're now getting sued for a million billion dollars.

I'm vaguely intrigued by this Ramen place, but other than that I sort of don't care. Mostly, I guess, because as hard as it allegedly is to run a restaurant and make any fucking money, I'm blown away by the fact that NO ONE seems to ever: take a look at the neighborhood; see what's mising or needed; and then meet that need. It's all just pizza joints, bagel shops and bullshit that we've all seen before (NOTE: for ideas about what bitches around here *actually* would like to see, the readers of FIPS have made a handy dandy list).

Photo: Rob BlattOur bud Rob Blatt sent us these photos, and unless I'm still hungover from last night: looks like there's some construction activity in the old Cabana Bar space!

Not sure if they're working on both the old Playa AND Cabana Bar space, or just the Cabana Bar space, and it's hard to make out who's coming in (though they do already have a liquor license).

photo: Rob BlattPersonally, I'd also suggest that they immeds call a vodoo doctor, or one of those peeps that Jeff Lewis from Flipping Out hires to "cleanse a space" that he can't sell, cause according to CNN that spot is soooo cursed.

Anyone have deets??

You know how sometimes you're just sitting around, and then you think to yourself: "I wonder how much every single solitary fucking cup of iced coffee in Park Slope costs?" Like EVERY. SINGLE. ONE.

Yeah, me too.

Well, wonder no more, cause @bumpershine figured allllll that shit out for all your asses in their Park Slope Iced Coffee Survey. And this shit is like more comprehensive than wikipedia.

Check it.

I drank it too quickly to take a real pic...oopsOk, so yes there are spots in Park Slope that *might* have better bagels, and yes the store was clearly laid out by an evil, blind, anti feng shui advocate, but I will fight ANY motherfucker to the death over defending the honor of this fact: La Bagel Delight has the most amazing, other-worldly, resplendent fresh squeezed OJ that has e-v-e-r crossed my motherfuckin lips.

This stuff is like the blow-job of beverages. And this is coming from someone who used to reside in Florida...THE SUNSHINE STATE. The place where almost all oranges come from.

I'm not even really normally an OJ person at all. Like I'll never buy it at the supermarket, and I never order it at a restaurant, but I swear to gawd: I almost committed suicide last weekend when I hopped over to La Bagel on Sat morn and I ordered my juice and they were like "sorry, we don't have any today."

I may have actually started weeping at the counter.

And that's why yesterday, I was sooooo excited to, yet again, be reunited with my OJ and it feels so good, I forgot to take a pic before I drank it all.

Oopsie.

So have you tried this shit?? Can I get a holla??

Ok, FUCK IT.

My Blog Vacay was pretty much an epic failure, so I may as well throw in my towel a day early. I JUST CAN'T QUIT YOU BTCHZ, BTCHZ!

Anyhoo, a new Crumbs Bakery opened in Brooklyn Heights. I don't really care cause I think Crumbs cupcakes suck a dizzle (they look gorgeous but taste like crap on a stick---Robicelli's all the way!). That's mildly interesting news in and of itself, but I was scrolling on through the comments on Brownstoner and I came across this little gem:

quote:

I swear this year every single woman in Park Slope is pregnant.

uhh.. im pretty sure that isnt the case. most of them just let themselves go when they snagged a nerdy husband.

someone should open up a shop called Muffin Top. that WOULD do quite well in park slope. they could sell not only muffins, but unflattering overpriced clothing.

*rob*

Oh SNAP! I don't even know what the fuck this *means* but I love it anyway.

If I've told you once, I've told you a million fucking times: all the best shit is ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS in the comments, ppl. Live and learn.