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Diktionary

*BALLER - n. Kid free-n-lovin it

*BFI - n. Brilliant fucking idea

*BREEDER - n. Baby maker

*BR-ALLER - n. a BREEDER who's proven themselves to be cool enough that, despite their tendencies to procreate, can still maintain the basic principles of a BALLER attitude and lifestyle.

*COOPRETARD - n. Any annoying person who works at the Park Slope Food Coop

*D.I.N.K-n. Dual income, no kids

*FIPS - n. Fucked in Park Slope; the most badass'd blog on the dub dub dub

*SILTH - n. Sloper I'd Like To Hurt

*SAHM (or "SHAM") - n. Stay At Home Mom

 *SCHADENFOER - n. The feeling of envy and/or hate toward literary wunderkind and Park Slope resident, Jonathan Safran Foer

I'm A BR-ALLER

My Bebe Is Cuuute

I'm Oliver...and I'm hawt

Entries in drunk (24)

Wednesday
Sep012010

ATTN ALL MOMS WHO DON’T WANT THEIR KIDS TO BE VICTIMS OF CRAZY EYEBALL EXPERIMENTS


FIPS reader, Princess Pony Party Amazing, called our attention to this exclusive party invite:

Exceptional Eyecare. Incredible Eyewear. AND FREE “BABYSITTING”!!!

That’s right BREEDERS, cancel your nanny, cause the eye doctor has a new hobby (other than his self-proclaimed passion for working with Dry Eye Sufferers)...Taking care of your kiddies! What child doesn’t love going to the doctor? Park Slope Eye is turning their clinic into a mini movie theatre for your obnoxious children, in order to conduct cray cray eye science experiments on them, thank you for your patronage.

And what will you be doing during your off time? GETTING WASTED, LADIES!!!! On a Mini Mommy Vaca!!!
They have even provided you with the name of the closest happy hour, so if the kid by mistake performs Lasic eye surgery on someone, you can come reverse that shit pronto.

Ok, so there might be a chance that Park Slope Eye is secretly planning to dry your little one’s eyes out so that the doctor can get all passionate and whatev about fixing them. BFD. The more important issue is what four-year-old wants to sit all the way through Up? That movie had me crying within the first ten minutes.

Did anyone send their kid to this? Are their eyes all fucked now or did they come back normal? Is Park Slope Eye turning this hang sesh into a weekly event, because sign me up DUH.

Tuesday
Aug312010

Playa/Cabana Bar 2.0?

Photo: Rob BlattOur bud Rob Blatt sent us these photos, and unless I'm still hungover from last night: looks like there's some construction activity in the old Cabana Bar space!

Not sure if they're working on both the old Playa AND Cabana Bar space, or just the Cabana Bar space, and it's hard to make out who's coming in (though they do already have a liquor license).

photo: Rob BlattPersonally, I'd also suggest that they immeds call a vodoo doctor, or one of those peeps that Jeff Lewis from Flipping Out hires to "cleanse a space" that he can't sell, cause according to CNN that spot is soooo cursed.

Anyone have deets??

Sunday
Jul042010

BREAKING: The Gate Is Now A "No Stroller Zone" on Weekends (Also, We Officially Love The Gate)

photo via @meganlibrarian

So true: we've bitched about The Gate before, but those days are OVER folks. The Gate now joins Double Windsor as an officially FIPS endorsed bar.

For anyone keeping track, we started to change our tune during the whole Walter fundraiser sitch back in April--but this shit puts The Gate over the top:

Sorry

NO STROLLERS FRIDAY THRU SUNDAY & HOLIDAYS

Sorry Friends, owing to severe stroller and chair overcrowding as of late, we are now enforcing a NO STROLLER policy on WEEKENDS & HOLIDAYS at The Gate

And no, ppl: the caps and underlines are NOT ours. Nice try.

So, no strollers + Walter fundraiser + they let us bring Ollie there and drink = WE FUCKING LOVE THE GATE.

Take note.

[sidenote: we should get some fucking window decals like Yelp, but instead they'll say FIPS ENDORSED].

(via Brooklynian)

Monday
Jun072010

Oliver Gets Stoop'd

So Spike Lee collab'd with Absolut on a new flavored vodka, Absolut Brooklyn. Have you seen this shit?

True confessions: I've yet to taste it, but the bottle itself looks pretty damn cool. It's supposedly a nod to the stoop where Lee grew up. "Harkening back to the decades-long notion that the stoop is truly the epicenter of creativity, culture and community, the bottle serves as an homage to that Brooklyn ideal of stoop life--where memories are made and ideas are sparked through conversation and camraderie."

Ok, I don't know about all that, cause my ass doesn't have a stoop. But we live in a neighborhood with a shitload of stoops and I often walk by and get all jel of the people sitting on them. And weirdly, Oliver often tries to walk up and sit on other people's stoops. So all this talk about stoops got me thinking: LET'S TAKE SOME PICS OF OLIVER ON STOOPS! YAY STOOPS! YAY OLIVER! YAY BROOKLYN!

Click to read more ...

Tuesday
May252010

Again With The Mission Dolores Noise

photo: Jacqueline Wasilczyk for ZagatWe had quite a spirited discussion on FIPS a few weeks ago regarding the noise levels at new bar Mission Dolores (and/or the potential stupidity levels of anyone who decided to make their home along 4th Ave). Angry neighbors were drafting signs encouraging residents to call 311, and now comes news of a Community Board Meeting:

"For anyone affected by the noise coming from Mission Dolores, there will be a meeting of Community Board 6 on Monday May 24th at 6:30PM. The meeting will take place at the Community Board 6 District Office, 250 Baltic St between Court and Clinton Streets."

Again, I say r'uh r'oh. Things didn't go so well with Hotel Le Bleu and their noise complaint sitch with 4th Avenue residents over that ridiculous "game changing" roof bar they had for awhile, so it will be interesting to see how this one shakes out.

Anyone go?

Thursday
May062010

The Rock Shop Is Here

image via Grub StreetIf you thought Mission Dolores was loud, brace yourselves ppl, cause we've got even MORE action coming to that stretch of 4th Ave: THE ROCK SHOP!

Michael Winsch, of Bowery Ballroom fame, is opening up a "non-sports bar" sports bar with like a bazillion flatscreens in the old Cattyshack bi-level space. There's also a performance space on the first floor that's not quite ready for prime-time, but will eventually rock out with the sort of bands we're used to seeing at Mercury Lounge, which is Bowery's siter club. There is also a roof deck! (HA! Loud!). Here's a whole slidey-slideshow from Grub Street if you want a better peek.

(via Zagat and Grub Street)

Wednesday
May052010

[R'uh R'oh] Mission Dolores Trouble Ahead? 

click to enlargeAs previously mentioned, I loved the shit out of Mission Dolores, the new outdoor boor on 4th Ave btween President and Carroll.

Buuut, it seems like there already might be some trouble brewing amongst some unhappy neighbors who aren't digging all the noise.

Behold the above sign, which is currently hanging in the lobby of a nearby building that faces the back of MD.

People are looking to get organized....and shit might get real serious, real fast.

I hope you can take the heat, MD....cause I love you longtime.