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Diktionary

*BALLER - n. Kid free-n-lovin it

*BFI - n. Brilliant fucking idea

*BREEDER - n. Baby maker

*BR-ALLER - n. a BREEDER who's proven themselves to be cool enough that, despite their tendencies to procreate, can still maintain the basic principles of a BALLER attitude and lifestyle.

*COOPRETARD - n. Any annoying person who works at the Park Slope Food Coop

*D.I.N.K-n. Dual income, no kids

*FIPS - n. Fucked in Park Slope; the most badass'd blog on the dub dub dub

*SILTH - n. Sloper I'd Like To Hurt

*SAHM (or "SHAM") - n. Stay At Home Mom

 *SCHADENFOER - n. The feeling of envy and/or hate toward literary wunderkind and Park Slope resident, Jonathan Safran Foer

I'm A BR-ALLER

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I'm Hawt

Entries in drunk (13)

Monday
08Mar2010

FRIED ROBICELLI'S CUPCAKES: EVERYTHING I DREAMED OF AND MORE

Posted by: AuthorErica | DateMonday, March 8, 2010 at 9:17AM

photo: The Amber Show

Honestly, y'all: if you were not able to make it to Union Hall last Friday for our Cupcakegate 2K10 Resolution event with Robicelli's, I feel really, really, REALLY bad for you (sidenote: there were SIX FRIGGIN babies there when I arrived at 6pm).

I gotta admit, after all of this friggin build-up, even I was wondering if all this fried cupcake bullshit was gonna turn out to be all that-n-a-bag'o chips, but HOLY MOTHER OF CHRIST was that shit goooooood.

Click to read more ...

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Wednesday
03Mar2010

CNN WEIGHS IN ON BABIES IN BARS

Posted by: AuthorAmanda | DateWednesday, March 3, 2010 at 12:39AM

[photo via CNN]

Oh, snap, bitches!  We're on CNN!  Our multiple (read: incessant) posts on the babiez-in-barz issue has FINALLY got us noticed as the shining beacon of journalism that we are. 

We think it's kind of redundant, too, but if the same topic keeps cropping up, it means someone SOMEWHERE is still interested, right? 

Are YOU interested? 

Probz not, but who cares?  We're national now.  Get ready for FIPS t-shirts-n-shit.

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Friday
26Feb2010

Fried Robicelli's Cupcakes...In Your MOUTHS [Cupcakegate 2K10: The Resolution]

Posted by: AuthorErica | DateFriday, February 26, 2010 at 8:27AM

photo: Brooklyn Paper

Remember a few weeks back when we all got excited as hell to go eat fried Robicelli cupcakes at the Chip Shop? And then we all went to the Chip Shop and they were like "huh??" And then we blogged about it, and instead of saying they were the sorry, the Chip Shop kinda lied and said "we have no idea what you are talking about, so this was probably some publicity stunt." And then we went back to hating the shit out of the "predatory" Chip Shop again, and suggesting you do the same?

Yeah, well none of that changes the fact that Park Slope STILL has not had their chance to try DELICIOUS, DEEP FRIED ROBICELLI CUPCAKES!

But on Friday, March 5, all that changes!

Click to read more ...

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Tuesday
09Feb2010

OFFICIAL FIPS ENDORSEMENT: THE DOUBLE WINDSOR

Posted by: AuthorErica | DateTuesday, February 9, 2010 at 8:10AM

photo: Sam Horine

ATTN BALLERS: I'd like to suggest that you stop whatever you are doing right now (put down your bong; step away from the internet porn; and just say no to your new Craigslist missed connection "friend"...at least for a few mins) and head straight on over to Double Windsor!

We'd like to suggest that you go patronize the Double Windsor...HARD.

Buy drinks! Buy food! (do they even sell food!? Yes! After 5pm! Who cares?...just buy it!). Scrub graffiti off their bathroom stalls! SHOW RESPECT TO DOUBLE WINDSOR. DOUBLE WINDSOR IS OUR HERO!

Here's why. Behold this post from Park Slope Parents:

Click to read more ...

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Thursday
21Jan2010

An Open Letter To *Some* Park Slope Parents

Posted by: AuthorErica | DateThursday, January 21, 2010 at 12:07AM

I dug the recap that the City Room blog did summarizing some of the more "colorful" comments from the Letter to the Editor the other day about the babies in bars sitch in Park Slope. But thanks to the magic of google alerts, I came across this fine missive, An Open Letter To *Some* Park Slope Parents, from fellow BK blog Shouts from the Stoop.

Click to read more ...

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Tuesday
19Jan2010

The Starbuck Stops Here: Since When Are Breeders Not Allowed In Starbucks??

Posted by: AuthorAllison | DateTuesday, January 19, 2010 at 8:27AM

I’m starting to develop a complex.
 
I get that you free and happy people don’t want me and my annoying kids in your bars. And I’m okay with that (although helicopter mom did have a point that we breeders need alcohol by 5:30 way worse than you ballers. And since we’re back home in our jammies by eight, clearing the way for you to move in from 8-2, its not such a big deal. Anyway...)
 
So yeah--I’m willing to give you the bars.
 
But Starbucks? I protest.

Click to read more ...

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Tuesday
19Jan2010

Farrell's: Where Cheap Mofos Binge Drink

Posted by: AuthorAmanda | DateTuesday, January 19, 2010 at 12:12AM

The National Institute of Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism defines binge drinking as drinking massive amounts of alcohol in a short amount of time.  In a two hour span, if you drink more than 4-5 drinks, you're a binge drinker. 

But if anyone's been to college, or to Jackie's Fifth Amendment on a Friday night, you know that binge drinking is pretty much the norm. We all live in New York, where you're physically and emotionally assaulted on a daily basis.  Frankly, I'm pretty sure that the only thing that keeps everyone from murdering everyone in their general vicinity is the knowledge that a bottle of vodka is chilling in the freezer, just waiting for consumption.  That, or a heavy dosage of Xanax.   

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