Less People Getting Straight-Up Murdered in Brooklyn Since 1963

Clocking in at 195 murders, 2011 takes home the prize for the least amount of murders in Brooklyn since 1963. I mean, it’s only taken us almost 50 years, but fuck yeah, people! The last time you were so unlikely to get murdered in Brooklyn, the fucking Beatles hadn’t even played Ed Sullivan.

Police Commissioner Raymond Kelly made the announcement this Saturday at this year’s first gun buy-back program in the Bedford Central Presbyterian Church. The NYPD/Clergy Gun Buy-Back program, which, you know, buys guns back from people, began in 2008 and has taken over 7,600 firearms off the street. The Commissioner believes the concerted effort to get guns off the street are a big part of the reduced murder rate (fun fact: most of those 1963 crimes were committed with knives, so he may actually be on to something).

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Park Slope Crime: Don't Leave Your Shit Lying Around Edition

Each week, the Brooklyn Paper's Police Blotter recounts the latest police reports in respective Brooklyn neighborhoods. Yesterday's Park Slope blotter was peppered with the kind of theft that could have easily been avoided if PEOPLE DIDN'T LEAVE THEIR SHIT LYING AROUND

THEFT #1:

A quick-moving thief snatched a fancy wallet from a bar-goer on Union Street on Nov. 19.

The 30-year-old victim told cops that she hung her purse on the back of a chair at Union Hall near Fifth Avenue at 2:30 am, had a drink and returned an hour later. That’s when she discovered that her $600 wallet — along with several credit cards inside — gone.

THEFT #2:

A thief stole a laptop from a woman on Union Street on Nov. 21.

The 22-year-old victim told cops that she left her MacBook and headphones outside a building near Fifth Avenue for 15 minutes, which was enough time for the crook to snatch the gadget and run away.

[Sigh.]

Woman Duped In Lamest Scam Ever

The Brooklyn Paper Police Blotter recently posted this account of a Park Slope robbery that I honestly CAN NOT believe happened outside of a television sitcom:

Swindlers used a classic lottery sting to steal a whopping $10,500 from a woman outside the Park Slope Co-op on Aug. 11.

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Dog Snatching On the Rise

Image via Do-While.com

According to the American Kennel Club, pet theft is up by 32% percent in 2011, which equates to about 224 furry friends in the first 7 months of the year, compared to last year.

“We are getting reports almost daily of pets stolen during home invasions, out of parked cars while people are running errands and even snatched from dog lovers out for a walk in the park,” said AKC spokesperson Lisa Peterson. 

Holy hell people, this is sad. There have been some reports as of late of pups being stolen in Brooklyn, and I can’t help but think of how many dogs I see tied up to parking meters, newspaper stands and trees in the park. I rarely think anything of it. Perhaps it's because I am not a dog snatcher, but it never really occurred to me why anyone would worry. Apparently we need to pay some attention to the matter here in the ‘hood.

Here are some tips to keep your dog safe:

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Murder and Mayhem In Park Slope

Call me stodgy but I really don't appreciate waking up on Sunday morning to crowbar killings in "the city's most liveable" hood.

Do I need to tell you kids to cut this shit out!?

More scoop from The Daily News here.

Anarchy on the Q Train Platform

You guys. U GUYZZZZ. Hide your kids and lock up your valuables AGAIN. There's an esoteric crime wave a-washin' over Park Slope. People are losing ebook readers right from their bare hands!

The facts, via eBook Newser (yes, I read this on my own time): "Some jerk snatched an e-book reader from a guy who was waiting on the platform at the Seventh Avenue Q-train station on July 24. The book worm victim told cops that he was reading his Amazon Kindle at around 4 am when another dude walked up to him and said, 'You don't want to see this.' The perp then grabbed the trendy gadget and hopped on a Manhattan-bound train."

Dude really needed to know how The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo ended. But, I guess the lesson learned here is: if you own an iPad, Kindle or Nook, it's obviously best not to leave your home until further notice.

FOXY BROWN IS FROM PARK SLOPE??

Yes, apparantly she is according to SOHH.com:

"I was on my way to rehearsal with my band and I was leaving my mom's house in Park Slope, [Brooklyn], where I always go; that's the home that I was born in."

Holy shit! Obvs I'm on top of the John Hodgman, Steve Buscemi, John Turturro scene, but I had no idea that Foxy used to kick it at Connecticut Muffin old skool style!?

Also, FYI, she'd like you all to know that she did NOT, as previously reported, moon her neighbor while screaming at her to kiss her ass and calling her a dirty bitch (and other obscenities). LIKE NOT AT ALL.

It's unclear to me from this story if this neighbor was actually in Park Slope (next to her mom's house) or not, but every girl deserves a dream, so I'm just gonna go with it.

Finally, I think we can all agree that with her love of luxurious fur coats, Foxy is a pretty killer candidate for bringing some fabulous back to Park Slope. I mean, right? Are you hearing this Faux FIPS???