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My Bebe Is Cuuute

I'm A BR-ALLER

Diktionary

*BALLER - n. Kid free-n-lovin it

*BFI - n. Brilliant fucking idea

*BREEDER - n. Baby maker

*BR-ALLER - n. a BREEDER who's proven themselves to be cool enough that, despite their tendencies to procreate, can still maintain the basic principles of a BALLER attitude and lifestyle.

*COOPRETARD - n. Any annoying person who works at the Park Slope Food Coop

*D.I.N.K-n. Dual income, no kids

*FIPS - n. Fucked in Park Slope; the most badass'd blog on the dub dub dub

*SILTH - n. Sloper I'd Like To Hurt

*SAHM (or "SHAM") - n. Stay At Home Mom

 *SCHADENFOER - n. The feeling of envy and/or hate toward literary wunderkind and Park Slope resident, Jonathan Safran Foer

Entries in closings (45)

Friday
Jan272012

Fifth Eye Optix Shut Down, Owner Screams at Here's Park Slope Dude

Photo via Here's Park Slope
I've never been inside of Fifth Eye Optix on 5th Avenue, but it appears that the city has shut it down. Our friend over at Here's Park Slope had a strange run-in with the owner yesterday who, according to his account, blames the blogging community for the closing. Here's the story:

I had a horrific run-in with the owner of the weird Fifth Eye Optix earlier today, and thought you/ possibly your readers would be interested in hearing about it. I saw that it was seized by the city, so I snapped a photo of it and walked on. Suddenly this woman was on top of me, with her cameraphone out, and she started yelling about how
she's going to take my photo, too. I assured her that she wasn't in my photo, but she went on.

Click to read more ...

Wednesday
Jan252012

Rumorsville: Is SouthPaw Closing?

Photo via www.thirdav.com

Local blog Brooklyn Vegan is reporting that Southpaw, a fantastic music venue and host to monthly Moth storySLAMS, may be closing next month:

"According to many with connections to the Park Slope club (some who emailed me and some who are tweeting), Southpaw is closing on February 20 (possibly because "The venue's been sold."). The 5th Avenue Brooklyn venue was getting ready to celebrate their 10th anniversary in a big way too, which would make this news, if confirmed, even sadder."

We'll keep you posted if we hear more news. In the meantime, here's a video of Naughty By Nature playing the venue back in 2009.

Monday
Jan022012

The Park Slope Restaurant Apocalypse Continues

Ok, now this shit is beginning to get a little ridiculous. It's like the Titanic is sinking out there and all the other restaurant owners left are now jumping overboard in the hopes that there *may* be some room in the lifeboat. It's a new year's apocalypse! 

Click to read more ...

Thursday
Dec292011

Adios Perch Cafe

UPDATE: This morn when we called Perch, the woman who answered said she had "no information." And several people in the comments mentioned that they called and were told it was not closing at all.  However, we still have 3 separate, reliable sources, aside from the Twitter chatter, that say that they ARE closing for good. Guess we'll find out on Monday who's telling the truth (and for the record, I hope that they're not closing). In the meantime, go spend some money there just in case.

Man, the proverbial internet ink hasn't even yet dried on the sad list of Park Slope restaurants that have shuttered in 2011, and already we've got another one to add: Perch Cafe

Apparently the folks at Perch are ringing in the new year by, uhm, closing.

Click to read more ...

Wednesday
Dec282011

Here's A Sad List of All The Local Businesses That Died This Year

An image I actually found on the Internet when googling 'RIP Restaurants."

Local blog Here's Park Slope recently made a list of every restaurant that closed in Park Slope this year. Click through, cry and/or rejoice depending on how you feel, and let us know if he missed any.

Click to read more ...

Tuesday
Dec062011

Timboo's Bar is Closing 

Photo via Here's Park Slope

Here's Park Slope reports the news that Timboo's, a divey bar on 5th Ave and 11th Street, will be closing their doors as of December 31st. I've never been to Timboo's, so I'm turning to Yelp users to tell me if I should be happy/sad about this:

M.A. : A great non-dive dive. They haven't been labeled a dive yet, because most hipsters, the arbiters of taste of course, have yet to deem them such. Screw'em. Good, local folks run this bar and great people frequent the bar.

Carlos C: Old has-been dorkey (sic) locals. Dingy,dirty,laughing,hugging,sweaty,laughing annoyingly, old people and the random alcoholic who doesn't know what hit em. 

How does the news make you feel? Happy? Sad? Swimming in a sea of I-Don't-Give-A-Fuckery?

Wednesday
Nov232011

Christie's Jamaican Patties is Closing

Photo by Arthur De Gaeta / The Brooklyn PaperChristie's Jamaican Patties, located on Flatbush and Sterling, is closing its doors in January. According to owner Paul Haye, who has run the joint for 45 years, the Barclays Center is to blame. He recently told the Brooklyn Paper that the landlord kicked him out in order to offer higher rent, which he'll surely be able to get once the Nets Super Home is completed. 

“She’s trying to kick me out,” he said. “I don’t think it’s worth the stress; it’s killing me. I’ve had so many sleepless nights.”

Ugh. Sorry, Paul.