Did Park Slope Ruin Taylor and Jake's Relationship?

Cause Gothamist seems to think so.

And you know what: I think they might be on to something!

Cause Jake Gyllenhaal and Taylor Swift looked pretty fucking happy together!

But it's true: Park Slope is not the sort of place you come for a casual relationship. Cause for reals: there are babies crawling ALL OVER this joint! Everyone is married! Everyone has a dog! All you see everywhere you look are the building blocks of serious, committed, LIFE LONG relationships.

And even if you're not quite ready to talk about all this shit, how can you not?? IT'S EVERYWHERE. By default Park Slope takes any relationship up like 4-5 points on the serious scale. I mean, all you gotta do is just say "I live in Park Slope" and that basically just sends a message that you're ready to become a baby making factory.

Le sigh.

I'm sorry Jake-n-Taylor...Park Slope let you down.

Maggie Gyllenhaal Ain't Gonna Talk Shit About Park Slope

Photo via Time Out New York

Maggie Gyllenhaal doesn't want to talk shit about Park Slope, or at least that's what she said in a recent interview with Time Out New York.

When pressed to give up the goods about what's annoying about our neighborhood (uh, not having a fucking subway anymore, maybe?), she said, "I don't want to talk bad about Park Slope."

"Not even about the Coop?" she's asked. 

Her response?  "I think I’d better not. I think I’d have an army after me if I did that."

Brillz.

[ed note: In other celeb Gyllenhaal news, Jake-n-Taylor have apparently officially broken up. Who wants to break this shit to Union Market and Gorilla Coffee? Those btchz are gonna be HEART BROKEN.]

Anne Hathaway: Newest Park Slope Celeb?

image: Jeff Vespa/WireimageMove over Jake-n-Maggie Gyllenhaal! Watch out Johns! (Turturo, Hodgman)..and step back Steve Buscemi!

Park Slope has a new celeb in town: Anne Hathaway!

Last week, all the blogs were talking about how Anne was moving in with her Hipster boyfriend Adam Shulman into his BK apartment. Then she was spotted at the Brooklyn Flea. Well, an industrious FIPS reader, @sDiddyBKLYN, did a property search, tracked down Shulman's records, and uncovered this little nugget: THEY'RE LIVING IN PARK SLOPE!

Well, kinda.

Their address is *right* on the border of Park Slope and might technically be considered Gowanus, but fuck it: we're going with the Park Slope angle!

Welcome, Anne!

FYI, It's rully, rully hard to get into the Park Slope Food Coop orientation meetings right now, so maybe Mags can make a call for you? Until then, see you at Union Market!

(via Brownstoner)

Taylor Swift-n-Jake Gyllenhaal Shop At Union Market

Ok, so like by now we ALL know that Jake-n-TayTay are not boycotting Gorilla Coffee like the rest of us, but also did you know that they shop at Union Market?

FIPS reader David pointed out that this week's US Weekly cover is practically an homage to Park Slope: not only is Taylor carrying her Gorilla Coffee cup, but Jakey Jakey Boom Boom is manhandling a Union Market bag!

I actually went out and bought this mag yesterday after all the bullshit about all the amazing pictures cause I expected to see Jake-n-Tay at Prospect Park, Jake-n-Tay doing a Coop shift, Jake-n-Tay picking up a prescription at Neergard. And NOTHING. I was so friggin pissed off when I opened up the mag and realized it was a bullshit sandwich with extra cheese, I completely missed the cover.

Anyway.

I don't think Park Slope is famous enough, so I'm counting on these two btchz to really take us to the next level.

Norah Jones May Or May Not Have Bedbugs

image via Curbed NYOk fine: it was getting a little "all bedbugs all the time" up in here for awhile, but this one was just doo damn juicy to ignore.

Apparently there is lil ole bedbug problem on the street in Cobble Hill where Norah Jones lives, and her friendly neighbors are more than happy to just place blame for the whole friggin thing on her. Oh, also, apparently there IS an upside to getting your place infested and bedbuggy after all!

"Danielle Gelfand takes the contrarian view in New York Press, arguing that bed bugs actually did good things for her building because they allowed her to finally bond with the neighbors she hadn't spoken to in 10 years. One way they bonded: by blaming someone else for the bug problem. Namely, Norah Jones: 'As the meeting started, a huge truck pulled up outside. For a moment, I got excited, thinking, Maybe it’s some sort of hazmat-style bug elimination team! But then I realized it was ABC Carpet and Home, delivering Norah Jones’ (who lives nearby) new furniture.'"

I have no clue if any of this shit is true, but I bet if Norah let the neighbors swim in her inground pool, they'd be willing to let this WHOLE thing go.

(via Curbed NY)