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Diktionary

*BALLER - n. Kid free-n-lovin it

*BFI - n. Brilliant fucking idea

*BREEDER - n. Baby maker

*BR-ALLER - n. a BREEDER who's proven themselves to be cool enough that, despite their tendencies to procreate, can still maintain the basic principles of a BALLER attitude and lifestyle.

*COOPRETARD - n. Any annoying person who works at the Park Slope Food Coop

*D.I.N.K-n. Dual income, no kids

*FIPS - n. Fucked in Park Slope; the most badass'd blog on the dub dub dub

*SILTH - n. Sloper I'd Like To Hurt

*SAHM (or "SHAM") - n. Stay At Home Mom

 *SCHADENFOER - n. The feeling of envy and/or hate toward literary wunderkind and Park Slope resident, Jonathan Safran Foer

I'm A BR-ALLER

My Bebe Is Cuuute

I'm Oliver...and I'm hawt

Entries in celebs (74)

Thursday
Jul292010

FOXY BROWN IS FROM PARK SLOPE??

Yes, apparantly she is according to SOHH.com:

"I was on my way to rehearsal with my band and I was leaving my mom's house in Park Slope, [Brooklyn], where I always go; that's the home that I was born in."

Holy shit! Obvs I'm on top of the John Hodgman, Steve Buscemi, John Turturro scene, but I had no idea that Foxy used to kick it at Connecticut Muffin old skool style!?

Also, FYI, she'd like you all to know that she did NOT, as previously reported, moon her neighbor while screaming at her to kiss her ass and calling her a dirty bitch (and other obscenities). LIKE NOT AT ALL.

It's unclear to me from this story if this neighbor was actually in Park Slope (next to her mom's house) or not, but every girl deserves a dream, so I'm just gonna go with it.

Finally, I think we can all agree that with her love of luxurious fur coats, Foxy is a pretty killer candidate for bringing some fabulous back to Park Slope. I mean, right? Are you hearing this Faux FIPS???

Friday
Jun112010

JURASSIC PARK SLOPE: THIS MUST HAPPEN

PHOTO: Miss Heather from New York ShittyOk, this *might* actually be the best thing I've ever seen in my entire fucking life.

Miss Heather from New York Shitty spotted a flyer in Williamsburg from a, no doubt, up-and-coming team of award-winning flimmakers who are trying to get a movie made and want Bill Murray to star in it. What is this fine flick called, you might be wondering?

JURASSIC PARK SLOPE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And yes, it is about dinosaurs.

I think I might have to permanently shut FIPS down now....cause shit ain't ever going to get any better than this.

(via Gothamist)

Wednesday
May262010

Does This Count As White Collar Crime?

Thanks for the parking tip, Amber!!!

Do you think it will work for White Collar, the latest in a long line of production crews to map off a five-block radius around my building?

Click to read more ...

Tuesday
May252010

Jay-Z & The Lyceum!?

Ok, this may be one of the single best, no way in fuck it could ever be true rumors I ever saw on Brooklynian:

"Any basis in fact the rumor I heard today that Jay Z is looking to buy the Lyceum?"

HAAAAAAA!

Dude's got 99 problems, but an old, falling apart building in Park Slope with no air conditioning ain't one.

I mean, right???

(via Brooklynian)

cc: Curbed

Thursday
Mar042010

Wipe that grin off your face, cheshire cat—Alice in Wonderland kind of blows

I know that every formerly (currently?) depressed goth teenager and stoner vet is pissing their pants in excitement for this Friday's premiere of Alice in Wonderland, but sorry to be the bearer of bad news—you'll probably be disappointed.

Click to read more ...

Monday
Feb082010

IN-FIPS-TIGATION: THE GOOGLES ARE COMING, THE GOOGLES ARE COMING

After I blogged about 17 PPW last week—and got absolutely NO dirt from you losers—I decided to investigate myself. 

It's true I tend to take vicarious (albeit slightly masochistic) pleasure in the beautiful, fixed-up, FINISHED homes of my neighbors in this great city. I peer in to brownstone windows when I walk my dog in the evening (I especially liked your beautifully decorated Christmas tree on Carroll between Polhemus and Fiske, whoever you are; all those handmade ornaments, no garish glitter or lights in sight); I lap up Apartment Therapy makeovers like ____ (insert your lick-worthy favorite here); I eagerly take the tour when picking up the rug rats at a new apartment.

Click to read more ...

Friday
Feb052010

REAL FIPS Doppelganger Week 

We all are on Facebook.  It helps us waste time, keep in touch with people that we don't care about enough to actually call on the phone, and cyberstalk ex-lovers and ex-friends.  

But I think my favorite part of Facebook is this recent viral phenomenon called "Doppelganger Week," where everyone is supposed to change their profile picture to a celebrity that they supposedly look like.

Who knew I had so many dillusional friends and associates?  Be honest with yourself—you don't look like Jennifer Connelly or Kate Winslet.  Not even close.

In the interest of keeping it real, I propose a REAL FIPS Doppelganger Week right here.  Tell me who you actually resemble.  I want to see some honesty here: Roseanne Barr, Mo'Nique, Steve Buscemi, whatever.

I don't really know what celebrity I look like, but because I have a large, round head (thats where I store all of my genius ideas, obvi), I'll go with Charlie Brown or a Cabagge Patch Kid doll.