Jay-Z & Beyoncé Rang In 2012 in Brooklyn

Hilarious/ridiculous pic via Gothamist

Next time any of your bitch-assed friends give you flack for having to come "ALL THE WAY TO BROOKLYN" to see you, tell them this: If Jigga-n-B can swing it, so can they. 

According to Food Republic, the power couple (who were very much NOT at the hospital having babyonce), sauntered on into Buttermilk Channel on New Year's Eve, and cozied up at a quiet table in back. 

Whether or not they made it to the fireworks in Prospect Park, we don't know, but according to the menu at Buttermilk Channel that night (foie gras, lobster duck meatloaf, etc), babyonce sure had one hell of a last fetus meal. 

"I Don't Want to Live in the Park Slope of Park Slope...'

Leah Nash for Spin Magazine"I don't want to live in the Park Slope of Park Slope, really, though it's where you end up living if you have kids. I'm not saying it's bad there, but you just kind of feel like a mark."

So says Pavement front man Stephen Malkmus in a recent Spin Magazine interview.

Guess we won't be sending him one of our new "BREEDER" tshirts....

'Bored to Death' Coming For Your Parking Spots

image via GothamistBored to Death will be stealing spots on the following blocks next week: 7th Avenue btw Garfield, and 2nd Street and First Street btw 7-8th Avenues.

I feel like I should probably watch Bored to Death one of these days. Sorry to say, I'll be out of town and unable to pay a personal visit to Zach Snuffalopolous, Jason Schwartzman and the inexplicably hot Jonathan Ames. Also, has anybody but me noticed that Jason Schwartzman is looking more and more like a hairy Stanley Tucci every day? 

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ChicksWithSteveBuscemeyes

Ok, so in truth I'm mostly so grossed out by these photos, I can't even look at em. But YOU should look at all of em.

Cause in this week's entry for best new Tumblr, we've got a photoshop genius who's created chickswithstevebuscemeyes.

I'd like to personally thank whomever's behind this whole shebang for making me feel way the hell better about my under eye circles this morn.

Also, we still love you Steve.

Colin Quinn Thinks Park Slope Looks Like A 'Swiss Village'

No matter WTF Colin Quinn does, I'm just always gonna associate the dude with that MTV show Remote Control. Do you remember that shit??

Anyway, apparently he used to live in Park Slope back in the day (!) and this is what he had to say about it:

So where does a guy like this come from? If you guessed Park Slope, home of nothing but child geniuses, you'd be right.

But not the Park Slope of today where toddlers do calculus in the original form. He grew up on First Street in the old Park Slope filled with nasty girls, sketchy corner-store hangouts and bars that had grills.

"There was Greasy Jack's, Cheap Andy's (two burgers for a quarter), Al's Toy Land and Danny's Candy Store.

"Today? It's Whole Food lesbian baby carriage stores! It looks like a Swiss village!"

Something tells me Greasy Jacks or Cheap Andy's totes coulda beat the living shit out of Cheeburger Cheeburger.

(via NY Post)

Park Slope Profiles in Courage: Jonathan Safran Foer

The littler and I stalked JSF recently at Sweet Melissa's. He told me he barely washes his jeans let alone irons them. I promised to never call him a pompous ass again if he answered our FIPS interview questions. He gave me his very special and private email address. 

It was a BIG deal, man...a big deal, that is, before SOMEBODY upped the ante on me with that Jake Gyllenhaal sighting on the Q train.

Anyway.

In due time, he emailed me with his answers to my questions. That's when I found myself in a moral dilemma, because I just CANNOT BELIEVE some of these answers.

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FYI, Adrien Grenier Discovered Williamsburg

Just thought y'all should know.