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I'm A BR-ALLER

Diktionary

*BALLER - n. Kid free-n-lovin it

*BFI - n. Brilliant fucking idea

*BREEDER - n. Baby maker

*BR-ALLER - n. a BREEDER who's proven themselves to be cool enough that, despite their tendencies to procreate, can still maintain the basic principles of a BALLER attitude and lifestyle.

*COOPRETARD - n. Any annoying person who works at the Park Slope Food Coop

*D.I.N.K-n. Dual income, no kids

*FIPS - n. Fucked in Park Slope; the most badass'd blog on the dub dub dub

*SILTH - n. Sloper I'd Like To Hurt

*SAHM (or "SHAM") - n. Stay At Home Mom

 *SCHADENFOER - n. The feeling of envy and/or hate toward literary wunderkind and Park Slope resident, Jonathan Safran Foer

My Bebe Is Cuuute

I'm Hawt

Entries in celebs (70)

Thursday
04Mar2010

Wipe that grin off your face, cheshire cat—Alice in Wonderland kind of blows

I know that every formerly (currently?) depressed goth teenager and stoner vet is pissing their pants in excitement for this Friday's premiere of Alice in Wonderland, but sorry to be the bearer of bad news—you'll probably be disappointed.

Click to read more ...

Monday
08Feb2010

IN-FIPS-TIGATION: THE GOOGLES ARE COMING, THE GOOGLES ARE COMING

After I blogged about 17 PPW last week—and got absolutely NO dirt from you losers—I decided to investigate myself. 

It's true I tend to take vicarious (albeit slightly masochistic) pleasure in the beautiful, fixed-up, FINISHED homes of my neighbors in this great city. I peer in to brownstone windows when I walk my dog in the evening (I especially liked your beautifully decorated Christmas tree on Carroll between Polhemus and Fiske, whoever you are; all those handmade ornaments, no garish glitter or lights in sight); I lap up Apartment Therapy makeovers like ____ (insert your lick-worthy favorite here); I eagerly take the tour when picking up the rug rats at a new apartment.

Click to read more ...

Friday
05Feb2010

REAL FIPS Doppelganger Week 

We all are on Facebook.  It helps us waste time, keep in touch with people that we don't care about enough to actually call on the phone, and cyberstalk ex-lovers and ex-friends.  

But I think my favorite part of Facebook is this recent viral phenomenon called "Doppelganger Week," where everyone is supposed to change their profile picture to a celebrity that they supposedly look like.

Who knew I had so many dillusional friends and associates?  Be honest with yourself—you don't look like Jennifer Connelly or Kate Winslet.  Not even close.

In the interest of keeping it real, I propose a REAL FIPS Doppelganger Week right here.  Tell me who you actually resemble.  I want to see some honesty here: Roseanne Barr, Mo'Nique, Steve Buscemi, whatever.

I don't really know what celebrity I look like, but because I have a large, round head (thats where I store all of my genius ideas, obvi), I'll go with Charlie Brown or a Cabagge Patch Kid doll. 

Tuesday
02Feb2010

17 PPW: SCAFFOLDING DOWN, BACKYARD SHANTY UP

Has the recesh finally hit PPW? Is this a modern-day Hooverville right on Carroll Street? Servant quarters?

Nope. Just another expenditure in the perpetual renovation of 17 PPW, the nabe's priciest fixer-upper. I'm glad SOMEBODY still has some money. Well no...I'm not really.

Click to read more ...

Monday
01Feb2010

Sarah Silverman Likes Us!

The NY Daily News asks her:

Favorite spots in the city?
"So many! I love Veselka diner on Ninth St. I love the Bowery Hotel, Benny's Burritos and B&H Dairy on Second Ave. — the best soup in NYC. I love the fancy shmancy Reebok Club uptown. I love all the new standup rooms in Brooklyn. There is this bar in Park Slope called Union Hall and they have a really fun standup show in the basement there I like to do ... I could really go on forever."

Ok, so not exactly "us" as in Park Slope, but she did give a shoutout to Union Hall! Though, actually it wasn't even really a shoutout to Union Hall as much as it was a shoutout to Eugene Mirman's Sunday night comedy show Tearing the Veil of Maya.

Eh, whatever...she annoys the crap out of me anyway.

(via NY Daily News)

Monday
28Dec2009

Maggie Gyllenhaal Loves Gorilla Coffee

NY Mag spent 108 minutes with the Park Slope livin actress, and among other things, we learned that:

  • She leaves books out on her front stoop for people to take
  • Has "emission free fireplaces" in her four-story brownstone
  • Is bffs with her garbage man
  • Shops at BKLYN Larder and Ikea
  • Drinks Gorilla coffee

My most favorite fact, however, was that on Christmas morn, like any good Jew, she served a whole spread from Russ & Daughters (I just know that there was some caviar cream cheese up in that piece). [FYI, I'm obsessed with Russ & Daughters...and the fact that someone else does too is enough to get me to like them.]

So, fuck yeah, Maggie Gyllenhaal.

Wednesday
16Dec2009

Remember When Jonathan Safran Foer Said Park Slope Restaurants Were 'Miserable?'

Right, cause we totally do.

But now that JSF has a book out-n-all (and needs to plug that shit however he can), he seems to have had a change of heart. Not about eating cute little fur baby cows, chickens and pigs, of course...but about Park Slope cuisine!

Here's what he had to say about his favorite veggie burger:

“[Bonnie's] veggie burger is fucking great!"

Whoa.

N-I-C-E, JSF! Lettin loose with the expletives! What's next, a guest post on NY Shitty?

In any event, we likey.

(via Grub Street)