It’s the time of year where we all hope so hard for a snow day that we convince ourselves it’s going to happen and end up getting drunk... only to wake up, realize it never snowed, and go to work hungover. In case we do get a genuine blizzard, here are ten way you can use FiPS to your advantage:
Read about Patrick Stewart. He’s Captain Picard.
Find pictures of MILFs and DILFs to masturbate to. We all masturbate so much during snowstorms that we eventually need something other than “regular” porn to get us off. That’s when you start thinking about your neighbors.
Submit blog posts about the storm that we’ll never actually post. I’m sure they’re great posts but we’re too busy finding unimportant things to write about.
Follow this emergency preparedness guide: Hard liquor of choice. Beer. Marijuana. Frozen pizza (tasty AND ironic). Netflix. Torrent movies and TV in case you lose internet. Tissues and lube. That book you’ve been meaning to read since 2007. Aspirin. Cigarettes. Extra battery for your laptop. Board game other than Scrabble. Sled or garbage can lid.