You only go into Manhattan for work. You've broken up friendships because you refuse to meet up "in the city" on weekends. You have gotten into actual arguments with loved ones over why New Jersey is the worst place on planet Earth.
You are a Brooklyn snob.
Wait, is that redundant? Who cares. Embrace your douchebaggery! Advertise your love of Brooklyn and your hatred for everything else with the best Brooklyn gear money can buy.