Jackie's 5th Amendment Wants to secede from park slope

Local watering hole Jackie's 5th Amendment, which has been referred to by its Yelp reviewers as "Hell's waiting room," "the morgue," and "the perfect place to hit rock bottom," has started a petition to secede itself from Park Slope. Yep. You heard that right.

A Jackie's bartender recently wrote in and explained that after she learned that East Williamsburg was attempting to secede from Williamsburg, she decided that her bar had a far better case for removing oneself from its neighborhood.

Here's the dive bar's reasoning behind the petition:

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FiPS' Ultimate 5th Ave South Bar Crawl

While not all side effects of the ever-expanding boundaries of Park Slope are desirable, one happy consequence is a wide-range of new drinking establishments. We here at FiPS, ever your companions in boozing-it-up, are super enthusiastic about all the drinking happening on 5th Avenue and, in particular, all of the new watering holes that have opened up in South Slope over the last few years. On any random night it's possible to walk into one of the quality bars on that strip and not find yourself surrounded by a million douchebags. Score!

With this in mind, we -- FiPS' own drinking experts Daniel & Shawn -- have put together a TOTALLY EPIC SOUTH SLOPE BAR CRAWL, starting at 14th Street and working all the way down to 23rd. On this short strip, one can hit at least 10 bars, each with something unique to offer. We attempted the entire crawl on a recent Friday night, but our livers and wallets protested enough that we eventually had to give up. However, we bet some of our readers are ready for the challenge:

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My Top 5 Places to watch Football in Park Slope

 

First things first: this is a football post, written by a woman. If either of those things put you off, here’s an awesome video about a dog that you can watch instead. 

Now that I have your attention, I’d like to mention that the female writing this post originally hails from the Midwest; specifically a place that transforms into the 3rd largest city in the state when people flood to the college football stadium on game days. People from said state also tend to wear large pieces of corn on their head while watching football. This equates to street-cred in the football watching world, right? Great.

As such, here’s my roundup of the “TOP 5 PLACES TO WATCH FOOTBALL IN PARK SLOPE”.  This post could also serve as an explanation for non-football watchers as to why large men are often found screaming at nearby bars every Sunday at 4pm. OK, here we go:

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FiPS Round-up: 4 Neighborhood Happy Hours

Since we here at FIPS are often in need of beverage-variety lubrication yet lack the financial prosperity of Wall Street Titans, we’re always on the lookout for good drinking deals. This week we're highlighting four different Park Slope eateries and bars who currently have some decent happy hour deals going on.

1. TWO BOOTS (514 2nd Street)

There aren’t many places to wet one’s whistle in Northeast Park Slope.  Two Boots, which aspires to be half-Italian, half-New Orleans, is an exception to the rule.  In addition to a big dining area and large outdoor patio, there’s a small bar up front with an interesting assortment of neighborhood locals. While there are no happy hour specials on food, you can get $1 off all dinks on M-F from 4-6 p.m., plus a special late-night happy hour from 7-9PM on Tuesdays.

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Park Slope Will Soon Be Home TO a New Whisky Bar

The space on 5th and Bergen where the whisky bar will open / via DNAinfo.com

For all you folks fretting over the Slope’s relative lack of upscale drinking establishments, I have great news for you! According to DNAinfo, a new, high-end Scottish whiskey bar is headed to the corner of Fifth Avenue and Bergen Street sometime this winter. Together we shall warm our frozen limbs and frost-bitten faces with single malts at the bar, which will be named Duke of Montrose.

The bar’s proprietor, Steven Owen, already owns a highly-praised bar of similar flavor on the Upper East Side called Caledonia. It’s been praised by New York magazine as "a small, serene drinking spot" with a "fine selection of Scottish brews like Innis & Gunn and Bellhaven, and yes, lots of Scotches." Sounds like it’ll be perfect for our beloved North Slope! 

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