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Entries in bars (44)


A Tale of Two Bars

Bars bars bars bars bars bars bars. Every time you blink there's a new friggin bar in Park Slope. I wish I could keep up but I just can't, or more specifically, my liver wallet can't. Does that make me sad? I guess. Case in point: two new bars opened up last week. Both places--a wine bar/Turkish tapas spot called Pierre Loti & a "cocktail bar" named Parish--are TOTALLY CLASSY. Since I love class & need to keep up & can never find enough places in which to consume alcohol, I paid both a visit over the past week.

First up was Pierre Loti, a NYC mini-chain with locales in Chelsea, Midtown & Union Sq. It's named after some French dude. DON'T CARE. Now they've got a bar on 5th Ave & St Marks, in the space that used to host the failed Canaille wine bar. Park Slope is Pierre’s Loti's first trek across the bridge & let's be honest here...if you're a bar/restaurant expanding out of Manhattan into Brooklyn for the first time, you're likely looking at Williamsburg or Park Slope. Park Slope LOVES a good wine bar. Wine bars are TOTALLY environment where breeders can freely mingle with ballers. It kind of makes sense that Pierre Loti would open up their first Brooklyn joint here.

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It's like some scraggly, bearded, irrelevant septuagenarian kinda-Minnesotan Jew once said back in the days when it actually meant something but ultimately didn't:


In the lonely village of what I suppose you could refer to as "Rumorsville, Brooklyn" we've learned that the times they are a changin' in Park Slope. Get ready for a yuppie in every brownstone!

Here's the deal...y'all recall how LOKI Lounge has been around for forevs...1999 & shit? Bar in the front, "lounge" in the back? Somewhat recently "secret" steakhouse 'round the bend? may have to reconsider your current stance on moving upstate & working on Maggie's farm because in Park Slope, the times they are a-TOTALLY changin'.

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You Can Pick Your Bar But You Can't Pick Your Nose

Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name. Cheers & shit, y'know? For years, being poor or antisocial or "fiscally responsible" meant that I didn't go out enough to establish a regular Brooklyn haunt. Then, a few years back, I threw fiscal responsibility out the window and found myself going out a lot more, allowing me to start becoming a regular at places. I'm fickle though, so when it comes to my watering holes, I go through phases.

It all started with Sea Witch, the South Slope bar that opened almost two years ago and quickly became a favorite of mine. Each time I visited, there was still the same mix of awesome music & food & always at least one new beer on tap. The giant fish tank behind the bar gave me the opportunity to ponder life, as I scanned the tank to see which fish had died since my last visit.

More recently, I became more Union St-centric and, as a result, found myself hanging out a lot at the end of the bar at the 5th Ave Zito's, sipping on Sixpoint & paying attention to some NBA game I had no stake in whatsoever.

Over the past few months, I moved down the street a bit and started spending a lot of time sampling the craft beer selection at High Dive. When picking a place to call my own, I'm always going to gravitate toward places with a good beer selection.

Sometimes I have blind spots though and, until this past Tuesday, had never stepped foot inside The Owl Farm, the relatively-new 9th St bar that opened up back in June of 2012, replacing er...beloved (?) neighborhood mainstay Harry Boland's Pub.

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Just Cheez It, Alf.

It's like a cheezy, iconic, gay Brit once said: "Saturday night's alright for fighting. Saturday night's alright. Alright. Alright. Woo Hoo Ooh Ooh."

It's like a cheezy, hacky teenager once said in the shitty follow-up to the shitty song that made her famous: "This Saturday we're gonna do it bigger than we ever have before."

It's like a cheezy bunch of 70’s era Scottish teenybopper heartthrobs once said: "It's just a Saturday night."

Guess what I did on Saturday night. Nope. Not cheese. Not even heroin. Nope. I didn't go to TGI Fridays and delight in the splendor that is their kitsch-adorned walls. TGI Fridays is more of a Friday thing. Since it was a Saturday smack dab in the middle of a pussy-snowstorm-induced three-day weekend, a few friends & I decided to travel all the way up the hills of Park Slope to 7th Ave, walking right past all the perfectly fine bars on 5th Ave.

The reason: A brand spanking new bar that just opened up in the old Bar 4 space (RIP and/or I never went there). The moniker: "American Cheez."

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Who Gives A Shit: Does Anyone Go To Beauty Bar?

Beauty Bar when it first opened? Or on a Saturday night?

A few weeks ago, on a Saturday night, I was walking home from a gay bar in the East Village when I passed Beauty Bar on 14th Street. The bar was packed with people - so many so that they spilled outside. The atmosphere inside looked hoppin' - music blasting, people dancing, lots of attractive people mingling. I was like, "Damn, what a super fun bar!"

Then I took the train home to the Slope. And on the walk home, I swung by Beauty Bar on 5th Avenue. The atmosphere was a little... different. There were four people in the bar, and they were all watching some movie that was being projected on the big screen. It was 10:30 on a Saturday night. And no one was there. 

Surely this had to be some sort of fluke. It's the summertime - maybe a lot of people were away for the weekend?

So I started checking back periodically over the following weeks. And wouldn't you know it? No matter what night of the week it was - no matter what time of night - there never seemed to be anyone there.  No music blasting. No dance parties. Everything just seemed... dead. Like, the opposite of fun. 

What's the deal? Does anyone go to Beauty Bar? Is it always that dead? Or does it just get crazy busy like, minutes after I check it out?