In case you spent the week arguing with friends about The Great GoogaMooga Sunday cancellation, here's a wrap-up of juicy FIPS news that graced the pages of our blog this week: 

* Park Slope Family Circus Brings The Funnies
* Park Slope's Prodigal Son Launches Mayoral Campaign
* Easy Beach Transit for Drunk Hipsters Babies, Now Coming To Park Slope!
* Need TeePee For My Bunghole
* Bar Bar Baby: Village Voice Gives Us List of 10 Baby-less Bars
* GoogaMooga 2013: Less Shitty Than GoogaMooga 2012

While the big food & drink news this week in Park Slope was OBVS the continuing "not cool dude" fallout from last weekend's Great GoogaMooga, there were still a handful of non-Googa "that's cool dude" announcements that somewhat countered all that burning GoogaAnger™. Basically, they're all news related to storefronts & eateries going through transitions. As such, that's how we should think of the current state of the Nethermead. It's going through a transition...a six-month transition. Thank god for reseeding huh?

First up: The Beer Table space. For years they were one of Park Slope's homes for good, pricey beer paired well with food. Then, at the end of last month, they closed up shop as they searched for a new, larger locale. Sad face. Sorta. Then this past week, we learned who was moving into the new space, as DNAinfo reported that Roberto Santibanez of Fonda had applied for a liquor license for the space. There's been no word thus far as to what he plans to do with this liquor license, but I'm fairly certain he won't be using it to open a dive bar. My suggestion: KICKASS TAQUERIA. Just tacos & booze & perhaps a velvet rope.

Fucking Hurricane Sandy. More like Hurricane Asshole. Amirite? Among the many businesses shuttered as a result of the damage (and the resulting recovery paperwork) was Almondine, the renowned bakery on 9th St. Sad face. Moreso. Luckily, like the legend of the phoenix (or some shit) comes Melt Kraft, a grilled cheese joint from Valley Shepherd Creamery's Eran Wajswol. A grilled cheese joint? Now THAT'S something we don't have, Park Slope! Why were we advocating for a f'n salad place again? I mean, shit. Philadelphia's Reading Terminal already has a Melt Kraft. C'mon, Brooklyn. We're supposed to be cooler than Philly. Personally, I last went to Philly back during the W. administration, so I've yet to try Melt Kraft's Valley Thunder or Melter Skelter. I can't wait to see if Park Slope gets its VERY OWN grilled cheeses. The kind you just can't get in Philly. Sorry, jerks. Name suggestion: Pork Slope. Oh wait...That's crap's already taken.

In the FiPS universe, we like to masturbate to Franny's on the regs. Some of us get off on chicken liver crostini. For others, it's the pizza. Last month, the Italian joint closed up & shifted the restaurant a few blocks up Flatbush Ave into a much larger space. Next on the agenda for Franny's -- a cookbook that comes out on June 4th & goes by the cutesy name of Franny’s: Simple, Seasonal, Italian. Ugh. It's like Martha Stewart describing her favorite shitty pasta dish. They say you can't judge a book by its cover though, so that'll allow me to ignore the title. Good thing they left the full name off of the title page, or I'd have to tear that shit out. Anyway, there's a whole section in the book on crostini, so [masturbation joke]. Also, Alice Waters wrote the foreword, so you're guaranteed to either really love it or really hate it.

Maybe you missed the news. Moutarde closed. Maybe you walked by one early evening & noticed the lights off & just thought to yourself, "It's Tuesday. I think that's one of the days they're closed." Nope, Gary. After months of being the restaurant equivalent of an athlete who just doesn't know when it's time to pack it up (cough...Tim Tebow), they finally called it a day back in March, when they put the space on the market. For a while now, the rumored new tenant-to-be was another French establishment, the international bakery chain Le Pain Quotidien. Shit ain't a rumor no more, meaning that (alongside Tea Lounge & Pinkberry) we'll soon have three Park Slope eateries with locations in Kuwait! As of this week, they finally started work on the space, giving it an all-white makeover. Ooh la blah.

Read way more from Shawn at eatdrinksnack.com and eatdrinktaco.com.

Image via rockandrollplayhouse.comMany plans for new Gowanus attractions have graced our pages recently. There’s the illustrious Whole Foods, 700-unit luxury apartments, a member’s only club, an ill-advised boat race and now the Rock and Roll Playhouse. Gowanus is the tits, y’all!

Peter Shapiro, well known club developer and owner of Brooklyn Bowl, has plans for his Rock and Roll Playhouse to set up shop in an old warehouse at 280 Bond Street. The new venue will offer classes for kids 10 and under during the day and will morph into a 21 and over show venue, complete with jazz, “other” music, and booze. This place sounds like Discovery Zone meets CBGB’s. There’ll be fuckers moshing in the ball pit. Chuck E. Cheese will be serving Boiler Makers. Where the fuck are all the 11-20 year olds supposed to hang out? Answer me that, Peter Shapiro.

Shapiro revealed that he has no plans for soundproofing. “We Are Gowanus," a new community group that has sprung up in response to the news of this coming venue, argues that granting the venue a liquor license will ruin their quiet, residential neighborhood. Those raucous kids!  They’re also concerned that the played-out, Jack Black-esque school of rock which will offer classes like “Beatles for Babies” and "Drawing Rock and Roll” (both decidedly stupid names), only serves as a Trojan horse for more lecherous nighttime activities like the sex and the drugs. 

Personally, I’m glad that Gowanus is gaining some traction. It’s a cool hood with great people that deserves patronage. Do I think Shapiro is trying to be too many things to too many people? Yes. Do I want to roll up to a music spot that was just turned over from kid shit and stroller tracks? Not really. Would it be cool to have another music venue in the area? Fuck yes. Would it be cool to hear them from my apartment? Fuck no. 

I’m torn, Slopers. What do you guys think? Would you take your kids here by day, grab the nanny and return back at night for a cold one and some jazz? The world wants to know!

Image via parkslopefamilycircus.blogspot.com

We just discovered this brand new blog, Park Slope Family Circus, which is a mash-up of the old school comic Family Circus with the comedy fodder that is our beloved neighborhood of Park Slope. Bravo to creator Erin Bradley for making me spit my large All Greens with a shot of wheat grass all over myself. Hilarious.

via joyreactor.com

Well, I didn't see that coming. But I guess that's the thing about weather. So, Mooga got scrooga'ed this time by the fickle gods of thunder and rain. This was undoubtedly inconvenient for people who wanted to attend, but damn: think of all those local vendors. That's a lot of wasted food and lost income. So to do the most Brooklyn-pride thing you can with your leisure time this week, I encourage you to patronize the biggest losers of the Mooga rain-out: the vendors. Go buy and consume some delicious shit from them this week. Welcome to Whassup: Curse the Rain Edition:

* Thursday, May 23: Celebrate BK Dance Party, Bell House: The weather woes continue, with Celebrate Brooklyn relocating this week's dance party from Brooklyn Bridge Park due to forecasted storms. But the REAL thunder will be on the dance floor, AM I RIGHT, GUYS?? Anyway, as the lameness of the previous sentence should make obvious, I do not dance. But for those that do, this will be an awesomely funky party led by Zapp, whose shit was so stank it stank up both '70's funk and '90's gangsta rap. Funky. Dance your mess around. 7pm, FREE.

* Thursday, May 23: Fireworks Display, Liberty Island: The return of summer means many things. One of the things it means is the return of exploding, pretty things in the sky. Catch an under-the-radar fireworks display by calling a friend with a good roof and look at these boom-booms coming from Liberty Island. 9:30pm.

* Monday, May 27: Writers' Retreat Registration, Hampton Bays: If you live in Brooklyn, two things are probably true about you: 1) You talk a lot about needing to get out of the city. 2) You fancy yourself some kind of writer (f'rinstance, mayhaps you write profanity-laden posts for a neighborhood blog). Combine those two totally true stereotypes into one thing with the help of Brooklyn Poets, who are hosting a writer's getaway complete with readings, workshops and natural splendor to serve as your muse. (Your other muse will be the fellow writer who you end up porking instead of working on your manuscript.) All-inclusive, May 31-June 2, $295.

* Sunday, May 26: 'Arrested Development' Party, Skylark: If you're not plotzing over the upcoming new "Arrested Development" season on Netflix, then I just don't know if I can trust you. For the rest of you, if you don't already have a viewing party, Skylark's hosting one. Their usual trivia night will now test how inappropriately obsessed you are with the Bluths, and they'll air the first episode afterward. Trivia 7pm, First Episode 9pm, FREE.

* Wednesday, May 29: Lunchapalooza, BK Library: Earlier this week, we let you know about the start of Lunchapalooza, i.e. a series of different food trucks on the BK Public Library grounds every Wednesday. (Btw, good on them going with Lollapalooza as a funny-sounding name inspiration, and not a certain, ill-fated food festival. Lunchamooga? Pass.) This Wednesday, it's organic arepa pushers, Palenque. There'll also be storytelling and music, but it seems like it's mostly for the babies who own this 'hood. 11:30am-1:30pm.

* Wednesday, May 29: Rock of Spring, Littlefield: Rock group The Butchershop Quartet adapts classical, orchestral works to the guitars, drums and bass of a traditional rock quartet. They're rockifying Stravinksy's already kinda rocking "Rite of Spring" on the anniversary of its notorious debut -- it caused a virtual riot in the audience. So, yeah, if you want to slamdance to this, that's actually probably ok. 7pm, $10.

* Thursday, May 30: World Science Festival, Bell House: Look how smart you are -- you're reading about a science event! Now, be even smarter and actually go to the event. The World Science Festival brings two nerdy delights to Bell House tonight: First, "Cheers to Science!" investigates ancient Nordic suds, then NPR's "Ask Me Another" pairs a comedian and a mathematician. So much of the smartness. 6:30pm; Cheers $35, Ask $25, $45 for both.

* ONGOING: Sandy Auction, Online: BID 4 BKLYN is selling all sorts of shit to raise money for the ongoing Sandy reconstruction. Bidding ends June 5.

Have you been following the controversy over this show about the Brooklyn DA's office that CBS will start airing next week? Basically, the producers of the six part documentary are saying it's a news show, but two candidates challenging current Brooklyn DA, Charles Hynes, in the fall primaries claim it's nothing more than a campaign ad, giving Hynes an unfair advantage. Well, set your DVRs, because we'll all get to decide for ourselves starting next Tuesday night at 10 p.m. CBS just released this preview of the show, which doesn't really offer up that much excitement. Still, the them song sounds pretty cool. Will you be watching? 

It may be annoying when film crews come and screw up alternate side parking for days on end, but at least today we have a little payoff with this out-in-the-open-up-close-and-very-visible sighting of White Collar's Matt Bomer. In a tuxedo, no less. Dayum. Maybe that's why the air is so hot and steamy today. Thanks a lot, Matt Bomer!

Image via Making Magique.com

Good news, people. Your cheap asses will still be able to go to the beach this summer due to the quick rebuilding process at NYC beaches after the douche parade that was Hurricane Sandy. BUT, I cannot say that public transit will be your easiest bet. But...there’s a solution for everything.

Last summer the Rockabus made pickups from Williamsburg out to Far Rockaway and Jacob Riis Park, and this summer due to growing needs and the desire to support our beach communities, Rockabus is expanding with pickups in Park Slope (Grand Army Plaza) and the East Village (and of course, still Williamsburg). This pretty much means that the beaches will solely host drunk hipster babies and their surly cohorts.

The Rockabus is an air-conditioned fleet of yellow school buses that will be making runs from the aforementioned spots, out to the beaches from 10AM-8PM each Saturday and Sunday (and any summer holidays). Tickets are sold online, round trip for $15 bucks and $10 for a one way.

I really AM excited to spend my weekends making ironic drippy sand castles...but I would be lying to say that I couldn’t rename this form of transport the TacoBus...due to the fact that I am mostly looking forward to fish taco-related food comas at Rockaway Taco.

For more info on beach progress and what's opening Memorial Day, check out the Beach Recovery Guide HERE.

Because there are never enough opportunities to eat from a food truck, starting tomorrow and through June 26, the main branch of the Brooklyn Public Library will hold "Lunchapalooza" on the plaza every Wednesday, which is basiclly just a goofy way of saying there will be a different food truck there each week for the next month. Tomorrow you can get some fries to go with that shake from Go Burger, but future Lunchapalooza Wednesdays will bring Palenque, Eddie's Pizza, Taco Bite, and Shorty's. The trucks will be there from 11:30 a.m. - 1:30 p.m., rain or shine, and when the weather permits, there will also storytelling performances for kids from 11:30 - 12:15, and "family friendly" music from 12:30 - 2:00 p.m. So, yes, chances are the plaza will be overrun with toddlers, so it's a good thing the park is close by if that's not your scene.