I don't even know what to say about this.
Okay, best to just pull the proverbial band-aid off quickly.
It's like the Perfect Storm of pizza destruction, with George Clooney playing the part of Di Fara's and Marky-Mark playing Grimaldi's. The eye of the storm is, apparently, Park Slope. Just stay in the Slope, everybody, and I promise, you will live to see both establishments re-open! In the meantime, because we at FIPS care about your well-being, here are a few survival tips for what we're calling The Great Pizzapocalypse of 2011.
- If you're hell-bent on leaving Park Slope to get good Brooklyn Pizza, you can still hop on the subway and go to Totonno's. Keep in mind though that the F and Q trains have been totally fucked up for the past several weekends (which mostly means that we're not over-dramatizing when we call this "The Pizzapocalypse").
- Stay local. Tomato 'N' Basil has a good, basic slice. When the world is ending, you should probably be sticking close to home.
- Whatever you do, do not go to Roberta's in Bushwick. After the New York Times review and the GQ Eaters Guide, I think it's safe to say that Roberta's is over-hyped to the point that it's only a matter of time until the Roman God of Pizza, Pepperonisus, visits his wrath upon the hipsters eating wood-fired pies in North Brooklyn.