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Thursday
Sep032009

Park Slope Library To Shut Down For Renovations

Sorry for anyone who cares, but I fucking hate this library (the one on the corner of 8th street and 6th ave). And now its apparently closing, for one year or more, so they can renovate it in order to make it "more accessible to the disabled."

First of all, let's call a spade a spade: something tells me this has fuck all to do with disabled people, and EVERYTHING to do with these. Interesting how putting in a ramp will benefit both BREEDERS and paraplegics alike.

Second of all, before we moved it on up to the N. Slope, we lived in the brownstone directly next door to the library--so I know, very intimately, why this place truly does suck a big hairy dick.

However, since you bitches know how much I like to look at all issues fairly and impartially, herewith is a list of the positive things that the Park Slope Library branch has to offer:

*there are books there, and books are nice to read.

Ok, now here's why they suck:

*Everyday at around 3pm a roving band of hooligans (sorry, but there is just no other way to describe these kids) set up shop in front of the library. They scream, they curse, they throw water bottles, and they launch sticks at squirrels in the hopes of killing them (I actually overheard one of the kids saying that). I have NO CLUE where these kids come from (they seem to be a bit too old for the elementary school across the street, but wtf do I know). Anyway, they seem to hang out there because they can easily sit on the steps and on the columns in front of the library (and also maybe pretend like they are reading books-n-shit). But really, its got to stop. Reading is fundamental and all, but that shit was ANNOYING to listen to on Summer Fridays when I was home early. So I sincerely hope that, in addition to the bugaboo ramps, they add some of those pointy black metal things that they use to keep birds away on every flat surface of the building.

*Though there are, in fact, books at the library, they are not the actual books that you would ever want to read. They're reject books from the basement of the main branch of the Brooklyn Public Library and/or they were scavenged off the streets of Park Slope. They're not good. And anything you might want to read that *is* good, will need to be shipped there from another BK library.

*The people that work at this library are VERY VERY angry that they work at this library.

*It's hot as fuck in there.

*For almost the entire year that we lived on 8th Street, the library would put all their garbage out on the wrong day. So like garbage day was Monday and Thursday, let's say, and the library would put 76 bags of steaming garbage out on Thursday night--after the trash was picked up that day. So then it would be hot...or it would rain...or a roving pack of raccoons would walk by and start picking through the garbage. And by Friday evening it literally looked this. It was this disgusting, smelly, disease ridden pile of rank trash spread all over the friggin sidewalk (that happened to be in front of our house). We called 311 to complain...many times. And it still did nothing. So one day I walked my ass into the library and asked to speak to someone in charge...and that didn't go so well. Cause after calmly and sweetly explaining the issue, the chick in charge gruffly responded with: "I'm on my lunch break."

So yeah, anyway...the library is closing.

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