I think about all the crap we write about on FIPS and then wonder aloud if I should relax...or tone it down...or just stop picking on certain people, places or things...like the Park Slope Food Coop for example! I mean, its just a group of committed, community loving Brooklynites right?? Working together for the greater good of us all!
And then I see shit like this:
"The venerable Park Slope Food Coop has fired a shot against the fancy-schmancy Barneys Co-op, saying that the department store slated to open later this year on Atlantic Avenue has illegally coopted the word “co-op”..."
I mean, seriously?
Cause note to the Park Slope Food Coop: its shit like this that makes me hate your ass waaaaaay more than I did yesterday.
Apparently this whole kerfuffle is based on some old, stupid NYS statute which says that *only* motherfuckers who operate their org as a real, ginuine Coop are allowed to call themselves a Coop. The law further states that “Any cooperative corporation may sue for an injunction against such prohibited use of the term.”
And so now the PSFC has written a letter to the Brooklyn Paper with their organic, hemp produced panties all in a bunch over it. They haven't stated outright that they are gonna sue Barney's, but they also haven't said that they won't.
Meanwhile, Barney's has had their Co-Op stores name for at least 25 years now and also has it trademarked...so they ain't sweatin it. In fact, I would guess that they are sitting around their plush offices, sliding back and forth to each other's desks on their aeron chairs, laughing their tightly aerobicized asses off at all the Cooptards RIGHT NOW.
Kinda like what I'm doing...alone at my desk (minus the tightly aerobicized ass).
This is what the general manager, Joe Holtz had to say to the Brooklyn Paper:
"Holtz, who made his objection clear in a letter to this newspaper this week, indicated that Barneys’ use of the term muddles the very definition of co-op and, in doing so, undermines the 37 years of effort made by the Park Slope Food Coop to essentially brand the idea of cooperative shopping."
“Barney’s misuse of the word dilutes this effort and effectively undermines our business model and, for lack of a better concept, ‘brand,’” said Holtz."
Seriously, ppl. I couldn't make this shit up if I tried!!??
ATTN PARK SLOPE FOOD COOP: You are all delusional! If you think a single solitary motherfucker walking into Barneys Co-Op is spending one hot minute thinking of its "brand concept" associations with your asses, you are smoking waaaay better weed than I am. The only "brand concept" people are thinking about when they go to Barney's is the kind that will get their asses into a hot pair of $400 skinny jeans or a fur-lined hoodie. There is not a milimeter of crossover. So srsly: just relax, STFU and go eat some kale.
Anyway, thanks for the reminder of how genuinely retarded you actually are, Park Slope Food Coop...I was going a little soft. And I really *do* hope you decide to sue Barneys. Maybe then it will bankrupt your asses and a Trader Joes or something cool can go into your primo spot on Union Street.
That's what dreams are made of, ppl.