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Friday
Dec132013

Park Slope – Craigslist Blotter

Santa baby, so hurry down and kill me tonight

Cute idea having a Santa come Christmas night to give presents to your kids. However, later, when talking to the police, you'll realize this plan went off the rails the minute you decided to hire a stranger off of Craigslist to play the part.

 

Child Yoga Teacher

Childhood obesity rates are running rampant in this country. Well, not running. More like riding really quickly in those motorized wheelchairs from Wall-E. So exercise is good. Let's get those kids sweating. Baby yoga though? I don't know. Put your kids in kung fu. They'll get in shape snapping boards. 

 

Rear Window

It is against the law to masturbate while looking out a window. It might seem like a grey area because you are in your house but nope. I asked a lawyer. Anyway, I hope this woman is intentionally putting on a show for this man. Otherwise this is the creepiest Craigslist post we've done yet. 

 

Milf Hunted

I don’t have mother-daughter fantasies. It’s like eating the chicken with the egg. It doesn’t feel right. So let’s just take this for what it is. A daughter thinks her single mother is lonely and needs some company for the holidays. If any of you single Park Slope dads are interested shoot her an e-mail. Just remember tell us how it went!

 

Pavilion Date

What’s worse, getting murdered by a stranger off Craigslist or having to sit in this terrible movie theater? Follow-up question. Did you know there was a platonic section on Craigslist? There is. This guy is looking for a date there. A movie date. The worst kind. Just go to the movies by yourself dude. It’s NYC. Nobody is going to think you’re being weird. Well maybe for wanting to see The Best Man Holiday. Not because you are alone though.

 

FREE: BLACK CHAIR

This chair looks sweet and super comfortable. And it’s free! You can’t go wrong with free. Only complaint is I’d have probably cleaned up my room a bit before snapping pics of the chair. Still. Great looking chair.

 

FOR SALE: Mets Bobblehead 

Let’s go Mets! Pretty sweet Christmas present for any long-suffering Mets fan. And trust me, suffering is the right word. These guys both go to so many New York events you could probably even get them signed at some point.

 

She blinded me with science!

Weird science fiction books for sale. Got any Kilgore Trout? I never heard of this Warehouse place. It’s comic books and nerd stuff right? 2-1 they’ve got a weekly Magic The Gathering tournament. If any of you have actually been here please let us know in the comments. Your favorite FIPS blogger might want to check it out.

 

FOR SALE: Foosball table

I know. You want to buy this. Hell, I want to buy it. So I’m going to talk us out of it. You don’t have room for it. $100 for a Foosball table isn’t a great deal. Foosball isn’t even that good of a game. At a bar it’s your least favorite thing to play. And in your own house? Forget it. There are too many fun things to do in our homes now. Technology has passed the foosball table by. If you want this table you might have just stepped out of a time machine from the 1950’s. What was it like having only 3 channels on TV? Did you vote for Adlai Stevenson?

 

 

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