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« HOW TO PRONOUNCE "TERROIR" | Main | WHO GIVES A SHIT: DO YOU GO TO BUSINESSES LOCATED ON THE SECOND FLOOR? »
Tuesday
Oct092012

OK: Who the Fuck is Stealing Our Trash And Throwing It Into the Back of a Van?

 

So.... someone is stealing our trash and throwing into the back of a van.

Recently, local blog Here's Park Slope received a tip from a South PS resident, who claims to have witnessed the following:

"I live on 6th ave, between 15th & 16th.  Almost every week I see these two vans, one 15 passenger van, and one cargo van pull up on to my street. Out pour like a dozen people with shopping carts, and they return with dozens and dozens of black garbage bags which they load into the vans.  I don't know if they are then going through it looking for personal info to steal identities or if they are stealing the recycling."

Then the article begins to speculate what, exactly, the trash thieves might be up to. They need to speculate because there's this new thing called "identity theft" that just started happening, and Here's Park Slope apparently hasn't heard about it, yet.  But it's not their fault, really. Nobody knew about "identity theft" until last week.  It's brand new. Just started.  And it doesn't affect anyone. Only people who have identities, or Social Security numbers.  That's probably why that other blog just left it up to you all to connect the dots. 

Any-to-the-whoo...  One of the post's commenters has apparently picked up on the clues, thus alerting the rest of the neighborhood:
crap. does this mean i need to start shredding all my bills, receipts, etc before i throw them away?
Oh, wait.  That's not a warning.  That's cluelessness.  Or sarcasm.  But if it's sarcasm, why isn't that person posting comments on FiPS?  I'm going with cluelessness.

How about this comment, then?
Everyone should be paperless by now anyway. If you still get your bills in the mail then you are fair game for any criminal. Paperless bills helps to reduce significantly any chances someone will get your information.
OK.  That's closer to an alert. Lookit.  We don't know what's in those trash bags.  Maybe it's trash.  Maybe it's human remains.  But, just in case it's information that makes you personally identifiable, don't you think it might be a good idea to start shredding every document with your social security number on it, instead of just putting it out on the street twice a week?

 

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