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« Whassup: It's Spring Damnit, Damnit It's Spring! Edition | Main | Happy fucking first day of spring! »
Thursday
Mar212013

Love That Dirty Water: Is Gowanus The New Gold Coast?

photo credit: Brian Harkin for The New York TimesWhat’s the only thing that could make Gowanus better?  If you answered “nothing” you’d be right. There’s a superfunded canal, an almost-Whole Foods, the Green Building and a coinciding members only club. Now in a gigantic turn of turd-polishing irony, plans have been leaked for some wackadoo’s version of a luxury boutique hotel.

Don’t misinterpret my candor. Gowanus is the tits. There’s a laid back vibe and a ton of cool mom and pop businesses and artist spaces. I just would have thought that the next obvious multimillion-dollar Gowanus project, 13 million to be exact, would be…oh, I don’t know…a cleanup? Think HAZMAT suits and flamethrowers.

Of course, I’m no developer or entrepreneurial visionary like Matt Abramcyk, the brains behind this operation.  Abramcyk aims to add “The Gowanus Inn and Yard” to his long list of businesses. Current plans call for an 82-room hotel, complete with rooftop bar, to be located on Union Street between 3rd and 4th Aves. The project is scheduled to be complete sometime in 2015 and has already signed on the Toxic Avenger as chef, cook, and bottle washer.

As if this weren't bizarre enough, the New York Post is reporting that there are also plans for a 700 unit apartment building along the canal. That's right. 700 units. Let that sink in for a minute while you imagine the morning commute at Union and 4th Avenue. That's nearly seven times the number of units in the Novo. 

Who else needs a drink?

 

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