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Wednesday
Aug182010

I've Seen Fire And I've Seen Rain: Goodbye Smartmom

Double Bitchburger with Cheez (DBBWC) got some VERY sad news yesterday at FIPS HQ...and by sad, I actually mean: SO NOT SAD AT ALL! Smartmom got canned by The Ridonkulous Paper in the borough of Brook! (RPITBOB).

Even Double Bitchburger with Cheez's husband Phish-a-lishy (PAL) was jumping up and down. And their beloved pooch, Hawtest Basset on the Motherfucking Planet (HBOTMP) took a dump on the living room floor...I think that was his way of saying: we are all in this together Double Bitchburger With Cheez and Phish-a-Lishy.

It's not that DBBWC, PAL or even HBOTMP wanted Smartmom to actually get canned (well, except in DBBWC's case mebbe), but it's that this really represents an end of an era for the Neighborhood That Recycles So Fucking Much (TNTRSFM). THE NEIGHBORHOOD THAT RECYCLES SO FUCKING MUCH IS CHANGED NOW AND FOREVER.

Here's what Some Other People That Aren't Totally Fucking Stupid (SOPTATFS) thought:

Not-a-Fan from Brooklyn Heights says: I wondered why anyone would write this column. Then I wondered why anyone would read it.

SMARTY from Park Slope says: Yes, finally. Thanks for making my day with this absolutely wonderful news. Now, please get a good writer with an interesting point of view to fill the spot.

Regular Fellow from PS says: Buried in this inanity is a small but painful nugget. Gersh offered Crawford a "neighborhood" column. Yikes. Please, not my neighborhood. Gersh, have her cover East New York.

Double Bitchburger With Cheese *does* wonder where all the Park Slope moms will go now for advice on raising healthy, well-adjusted children...and couches. However, as a public service to our community Double Bitchburger With Cheese would like to officially go on record with her nom for Smartmom 2.0: COURTNEY FROM FAUX FIPS! LET'S BRING SOME FABULOUS BACK TO PARK SLOPE, RPITBOB!

Glossary:

  • DBBWC = Double Bitchburger With Cheese is moi
  • PAL = Phish-a-lishy who is Greg
  • HBOTMP = Hawtest Basset Hound on the Motherfucking Planet is Oliver
  • TNTRSFM = The neighborhood that recycles So Fucking Much is Park Slope
  • RPITBOB = Ridonkulus Paper in the Borough of Brook is the Brooklyn Paper
  • SOPTATFS = Some Other People That Are Not Totally Fucking Stupid...pretty self-explanatory

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