Happy birthday, America! You don't look a day over 236. But couldn't your birthday fall on any other day besides a predicted stormy, 93-degree day in the middle of the week?!
This year, the fireworks are ONCE AGAIN being displayed over the Hudson River, which just goes to show how much the people of Macy's love the dirty Jerse WAY more than us Brooklyn folk.
If you're a gambling fool, you'll risk the 50% chance of isolated thunderstorms and head into Manhattan for 25 minutes of the most bad-ass pyrotechnic display in the world as Macys explodes more than 40,000 fireworks along the Hudson River (again, while flipping the bird to Brooklyn, but whatever). We hear Katy Perry is even performing. Now if only she had a song about fireworks to sing... Oh, and Kenny Chesney will be crooning some country classics too. Here's the 311 on when and where to stake your spot should you make the aforementioned trek.
If you don't want to join the cluster fuck of three million spectators, you can download this cool app and watch the spectacle on your phone while (fill in the blank with literally any verb ending in 'ing'). Or you can watch it on NBC from the comfort of your air-conditioned apartment (bonus points if you have access to a terrace in New Jersey).
And what about the wildly popular tradition of grilling in Prospect Park? if you don't own a grill or can't stand the thought of carrying around one of those single-use tailgate grills with a giant photo of Larry the Cable Guy beaming like an idiot on the front of it, and don't feel like waking up at 6AM to haul your ass to Park Slope's giant lawn to land one of their coveted grills, you can just say 'fuck it' to the park in general and head to Skylark on 5th Avenue. During the day they'll be opening their backyard and serving up FREE hot dogs with each drink and pulled pork slider platters for a mere $3.