For those of you that don't know what GOOP is, congratulations. You've managed to avoid actress Gwyneth Paltrow's foray into internet domination like a champ.
GOOP is Paltrow's weekly-ish newsletter that covers all sorts of topics from healthy meals to make your kids to whatever latest overpriced cleanse you would be trying if you weren't so fat and poor and ordinary. But I was very intrigued by the latest topic du jour when good ole GOOP arrived in my inbox last week: our fine borough of Brooklyn.
Paltrow, or let's get serious, her staff, decided to reveal all of the best spots in BK you should be eating, drinking, shopping, and hanging out in. And, oh yes, some Park Slope/Prospect Heights joints actually even made the list.
Herewith, are Gwynnie's suggestions for getting GOOP-y in our neck of the woods:
Al di La
248 5th Ave
GOOP says: "A homey and casual neighborhood trattoria so popular it has Manhattanites lining out the door."
FIPS says: The only Manhattanites lined out the door are the ones who are forced to come in for their stupid friend's 30th bday party that they didn't want to come to in the first place. Park Slopers on first dates are lined up out the door. YES, the food here is most certainly delish, but I don't buy that UESiders are regularly hopping on the 4/5 to 2/3 for Park Slope Italian food.
295 Flatbush Ave (note: GOOP mistakenly sent all their readers to 261 Moore Street, whiccccch is the address for Roberta's).
GOOP says: "Franny’s churns out some of the best pizza and locally-sourced food in Brooklyn, maybe even NYC."
FIPS says: I'm in fulll agreement with Ms. Paltrow on this one. Franny's even manages to make shit like Kale taste delish. And their spicy white pizza is my culinary soulmate.
Ample Hills Creamery
633 Vanderbilt Ave
GOOP says: "Handcrafted ice cream and sorbet made in small batches, Ample Hills gets its cream and eggs from local farms upstate for the freshest (and most sustainable) product possible, in 24 flavors that change with the seasons."
FIPS says: Uhm, ok...but how about the fact that the ice cream is mind-blowingly delicious!? They totally left that part out. And also the part about all of the fab/crazy flavors they have. Ooey Gooey butter cake, Salted Crack Caramel, Mexican Hot Chocolate....need I go on here, Gwen!? Sheesh.
A few more Park Slope spots made the list like A. Cheng & Bird for shopping and Weather Up for drinking in Prospect Heights. And, of course, there were loads of other shout-outs for all sorts of Williamsburg, Cobble Hill, Carroll Gardens places, though who cares about the rest of Brooklyn, amirite?
If any of you bitches manage to get cell phone photos of Gwyneth doing a Coop shift with Maggie G, or chillin at Al di La Vino while she waits for her table to open up, please send them our way immeds.