Further Proof That The Brooklyn Paper Is Totally Fucking Retarded

Le sigh.

It's shit like this that makes me wonder how in the Christ is the Brooklyn Paper is even considered a real newspaper?

Oh wait, its not.

Anyway.

Of course, they've weighed in on exactly how we should, as all for one and one for all Brooklynites, be responding to the hate parade that's gonna go down here on Saturday when the Westboro Baptist Church rolls on in with all their homies:

• Buy an ice cream cone and eat it really messily — so messily that news photographers can’t help but take a picture of the disgusting scene. Say you are protesting the tyranny of neatness in America today.

• Dress up in Antebellum garb and hold signs indicating your contempt for the Tariff of 1833. If asked, say you are a Whig.

• Wear a black-and-white-striped shirt, a beret and white face paint and perform a mime piece in protest of the widespread hatred of mimes worldwide.

Yes. I am totally fucking serious, people.

Here it is.