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Diktionary

*BALLER - n. Kid free-n-lovin it

*BFI - n. Brilliant fucking idea

*BREEDER - n. Baby maker

*BR-ALLER - n. a BREEDER who's proven themselves to be cool enough that, despite their tendencies to procreate, can still maintain the basic principles of a BALLER attitude and lifestyle.

*COOPRETARD - n. Any annoying person who works at the Park Slope Food Coop

*D.I.N.K-n. Dual income, no kids

*FIPS - n. Fucked in Park Slope; the most badass'd blog on the dub dub dub

*SILTH - n. Sloper I'd Like To Hurt

*SAHM (or "SHAM") - n. Stay At Home Mom

 *SCHADENFOER - n. The feeling of envy and/or hate toward literary wunderkind and Park Slope resident, Jonathan Safran Foer

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« 'I Love My Children. I Hate My Life' [I Love My Life. And Hate Your Children] | Main | Mid-Year Check-In: How're Those Resolutions? »
Wednesday
Jul072010

Fracked In Park Slope

As I know I've said before (and it bears repeating, because you people are a little slow on the uptake), we weekend farmers have been sounding the alarm for a while now that BP's oil spill is going to look like small potatoes compared to the calamity on its way to a cup of water, a country house, and apparently a bagel near YOU.

That's right, it's not just me yelling from the wilderness--the Terrace Bagels dude is now on board too. Maybe he too has a weekender in the Borscht Belt? And, fuck, what would the world (fine, NYC) come to without bagels? I don't know, bagels may be as essential as water. And apparently, vice versa. 

So, when I last left off, I was getting a good lather on about Governor Paterson's craven support for digging 50,000 natural gas drilling wells throughout upstate New York, using the scary-ass sounding “Halliburton technique” (aka fracking). Fracking entails pouring gazillions of gallons of chemically-treated water deep underground, in order to break into a shale-protected motherlode of natural gas deposits (think lots of dinero for somebody). All cocktail ingredients exempted from Clean Water Act disclosure rules, fuck you very much.

To quote myself, "Last time I checked, tap water shouldn’t be flammable. And it gives me serious agita when I hear that 230 mystery toxins may be coming to a glass of water near me (and you), courtesy of our deeply suckish Governor."

Incidentally, these wells have been failing and leaching into water tables across the country, as well as turning those bucolic countrysides we city folk like to escape to on weekends into INDUSTRIAL WASTELANDS. And just a month ago, one fucking blew up in Pennsylvania: just a hop, skip, and a jump from the NY border.

So, yeah: step up to the plate. Join me and Terrace Bagel dude and tell the powers that be what you think of current plans to approve dangerous gas drilling techniques that will permanently fuck up our unspoiled country getaways (or the ones we mooch off of), as well as our water supply. Tell Cuomo The Second to get on the stick and commit to a permanent ban on fracking in New York. It's easy...I promise (just click here to sign the petition). 

Also for your viewing pleasure, here's a reprise of former Park Slope serious actress and supremely beauteous Jennifer Connelly starring in a PSA "pretending to be a poor African woman," as Erica put it.

 

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