After witnessing a full-blown fight over the last rosemary rotisserie chicken at Union Market on 6th Ave (apparently you can call ahead and reserve a bird), a Union Street resident who will only identify herself as "Dot," thought she'd really lived through it all. That was until she reached 7th ave and saw a huge traffic sign warning drivers: CAUTION SLOW DOWN. CONSTRUCTION AHEAD. EASTERN PARKWAY.
She recounted her initial thoughts in an exclusive interview: "Why would they put the sign on Union and 7th about slowing down on fucking Eastern Parkway? I mean, you can't speed through Grand Army Plaza and it takes 20 minutes to get up Union Street on a good day."
She also tried to get me to cover something on the over abundance of male runners on Union Street headed to and from the park in skimpy shorts with their swinging packages, but I told her we could save that for another day.
"You know what really grinds my gears?" She interjects as if she's going to start talking about something else. "Taxpayer money going to massive traffic signs in the wrong places. It's bad enough we Union Street residents have to deal with the Coop (meaning the co-op but pronounces it like the place where chickens are kept),but now this?"
Watch out FIP'sters Dot's on the look-out. And she rocks!