Since we all know what a lousy cook you are, we don't want you to starve to death over the holidays. So, we rounded up a bunch of restaurants that are open on Christmas Eve and/or Christmas Day, just so you'd know where to eat. While lots of places in the neighborhood -- Al di la, Sidecar, Applewood, Talde and Thistle Hill Tavern, to name a few -- are closed both days, it is possible to get a meal in a sit-down restaurant on December 24 or 25.
Open both December 24 and 25:
AOC Bistro If you're desperate for French food on Christmas, or if you're just too lazy to kill yourself, you can go to AOC on either Christmas Eve or Christmas Day.
Kiku Asian Bistro Accepting reservations on Open Table. Eat here, then call your mom and tell her you had sushi for Christmas dinner. It'll totally piss her off.
Kinara Open seven days, including Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. Hindus don't care about the sweet little baby jeebus in a manger, I guess.
Istanbul Park Accepting reservations on Open Table. The big story here is that you can make a reservation on-line to get an $8.00 gyro at Istanbul Park. And, no, I did not make that up. It is an actual fact.
Le P'tit Paris Bistro Open 365 Days a year, with a website that offers "Holidays Specials" of sea bass and filet mignon, which are normally really hard to find on restaurant menus for most of the year. It's a goddamned fucking Christmas miracle!
Open December 24 Only:
Alchemy The kitchen's open until ten, if you need to get your gastropub on for Christmas Eve.
Bar Toto Kitchen's open until ten. Plenty of time to carbo-load for all of the presents you'll be opening the next day.
Benchmark Accepting reservations on Open Table. No word on whether they're still doing the Monday night 1/2 price thing on bottles of wine, but...well...if they are, you've just got a great idea for how to get loaded on Christmas Eve at a reasonable price.
Bogota Latin Bistro Reservations available on Open Table until 7 p.m. I've decided that this is the best option for a gluten-free Christmas. Did you know they have separate gluten-free deep fryers? Well, they do. I think that's awesome, actually, and I don't even have celiac disease.
Convivium Osteria Accepting reservations on Open Table. This feels like a pretty good option to me. A warm, homey atmosphere at Christmas? Portuguese, Spanish and Italian food? I'm in.
Faros You can reserve on Open Table, but here's what I want to know: if Greeks celebrate Easter on a different day from White People Easter, how come their Christmas is the same?
Ghenet Ethiopian Restaurant Personally, I think that Ethiopian bread tastes like a sweat-soaked polyester tennis dress, but if that's how you want to celebrate the birth of your lord and savior, well, you should know that they're open on Christmas Eve.
Juventino Open Christmas Eve, but only for brunch. They're closed for dinner on Christmas Eve, and all day on the 25th.
Scottadito Osteria Toscana Accepting reservations on Open Table, which is weird, because normally, they're closed on Mondays.
Sheep Station Open on the 24th, but they'll "probably be closing a little earlier than usual."
Open December 25 Only:
Surfish Bistro Accepting Reservations on Open Table For Christmas Night, but not for Christmas Eve. Does that seem weird to anyone else, or is it just me?
So, that's about as much leg work as I was willing to do for this post. It's not comprehensive, by a long-shot, so if I missed your favorite neighborhood place, or you know of a really awesome holiday special menu that we didn't mention, don't be a whiny bitch--post it in the comments for the rest of us. Oh, and Pork Slope is open, but for drinks only. You're welcome.