Are you having a hard time buying a holiday gift for your breeder gal pal following last year's fiasco in which she complained about having to test her boob milk after you bought her that giant handle of tequila? If so, here’s a FiPS gift guide to help you pick out the perfect gift for the Mamas-n-Papas in your life -- those brave souls who dare to procreate, populate our farmer’s markets and ensure that all Park Slope brunch spots have clientele before noon. And even though us child-less freaks may not be sympathetic to our breeders' friends sleepless nights, diaper-stained hands, and tales of potty training, we can thank them for providing us a type of free birth control that Planned Parenthood will never be able to give us (I'm talkin' about watching their little rugrats run around screaming.) Here are a few local gift ideas for the proud mamas and papas in your life:
1. Cat Tote ($50.00, A. Chang, 152 5th Avenue)
Every Mom needs a tote that she can fill with bandaids, stickers and tampons that her little one can rummage through while attempting to [insert any mundane task here]. A. Chang, a charming boutique on 5th Avenue, has got you covered with this hand-printed cotton tote. This item is also great for regifting, because once that little shit starts asking for a cat, she can be like, "BOOM. Here's your cat."
2. A Day of Pampering (Prices vary, D’Mai Urban Spa 294 5th Avenue)
Wanna put the kibosh on all the “I’m always so tired” talk you hear from your breeder friends? Send your favorite Mama or Papa over to D’Mai Urban Spa to massage, exfoliate or meditate the sleep deprivation away. Check out their website for specials.
3. Beer and Snacks ($59.00, Brooklyn Larder, 228 Flatbush Avenue)
Face it. The Papas in your life are NOT psyched about the new organic baby bjorn or the sparkly TOMS their wife purchased...for their little BOY. In fact, they're likely calculating the resale value of said gifts in beer. Brooklyn Larder understands the modern Dad, and has put together a gift basket to satisfy the nostalgia from his frat boy days. The “Beer and Snacks” gift bag includes artisanal beer along with bacon peanut brittle, potato chips and SAUSAGE. All goods are Brooklyn made, and totally put the traditional holiday fruit basket to ultimate shame.
4. [SPONSORED] Makers Toolbox The Scribbler ($25 Standard Set / $45 Deluxe Set, Norman & Jules Toy Shop, 158 7th Ave, Brooklyn)
These days, if you're a Park Slope parent, chances are that you've given birth to at least one artsy lad or lass who loves science. This holiday season, you could get them a Playstation 7 or whatever video game system the kids are using these days, but scientists have proven that video games will totally rot their brain. Instead, you should appeal to their creativity & intelligence with Makers Toolbox's The Scribbler, made in good ol' Red Hook. The Scribbler is a drawing robot that kids 8 and up get to build themselves and once they're done, that crazy drawing robot does what it was put on this earth to do--draw like there's no tomorrow. Art! Science! Teaching kids how to build things! The Scribbler comes in two versions--a $25 standard set with a robot kit ($7 extra for a glue gun) and a $45 deluxe set with the robot kit, the glue gun and a wooden box. The best part...this holiday season, Norman & Jules is donating 10% of the proceeds from all Scribbler sales to Red Hook Recovery. Help your kid make something awesome this holiday season!
5. Stainless Steel Wallet ($79.00, Sterling Place, 253 7th Avenue)
Do you friends have a little kid whose favorite game is taking everything out of his dad's wallet? Or how about a teenager whose favorite game is ALSO taking everything out of dad's wallet? Stop those sticky-fingered offspring with the Stewart Stand Stainless Steel Wallet. This VEGAN wallet -- yes, vegan -- is super sleek, super functional and super perfect for the Dad protecting his pocket.
6. Patina Sprout Earrings ($75.00, Cog and Pearl, 19 5th Avenue)
Treat the Mama in your life to these solid brass, 14k gold-fill rounded earrings, which are made in Brooklyn and sold at the impossibly charming Cog and Pearl. Bonus points: the rounded earwires make it nearly impossible for the little tyke in her life to rip them out of her ears. See, we’re always thinking of you, Mamas.