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« Park Slope Craigslist Blotter | Main | WHASSUP: Branch Out Edition »
Thursday
Jun052014

Finally, a drinks menu just for you lady-folks

Photo credit: Konstantin Sergeyev via Grub StreetYou’re a lady, and as a man I can say on behalf of my fellow chaps that we really enjoy having you 
around. Really, we do. You smell of flowers, smile frequently, and generally make us merry with your 
silvery, tinkling laughter and dainty ankles. That said, your companionship comes at a price. We have to 
put our coats down on puddles for you, retrieve you from standing on chairs after seeing mice, and walk 
on the outside of you while we chaperone you to the hat shop (oh, you and your millinery). We also like 
to have the odd sherry with you every now and again, but the simple fact is that without the willpower 
and fortitude of a man such behavior can lead to an inordinately high incidence of swooning and we 
have to scoop you up and carry you back to your boudoir, one of your forearms artfully draped over 
your eyes. How adorable of you.
Fortunately, the Clinton Hill outpost of Park Slope's Los Pollitos II is going to make all of our lives easier. The 
derivatively named Los Politos III has come up with a special menu which puts in bold type a list of drinks 
which are FOR LADIES (LESS ALCOHOL). Egads! Our long national nightmare of tipsy women-folk exposing 
their knees is over! We know that whiskey, vodka, or even the working-man’s beer, heaven forbid, are 
not to your liking, so The Chickens Three has helpfully provided you with the options of Kahlua, Bailey’s, 
some red wine, or even Alizé in all its cupcake-frosting colors (we know how much you love those)!
Now hold on, you might say – what about us men? Ah, you ladies are always fussing to ensure we’re taken 
care of. Given our iron-clad constitutions and in the name of gender equality, Chicken The Third has also 
helpfully put together 50% more drinks that are FOR MEN (MORE ALCOHOL). More expensive, stronger 
cocktails will ensure an agreeable experience for us, and there’s even an egalitarian FOR EVERYONE 
(ALCOHOL) which includes the conventional and refreshing ‘Mojito,’ which we may both share with this 
pair of candy-striped paper straws.
The management at Once, Twice, Three Times A Chicken states that in truth, anyone can order whatever they like, and that the drinks menu is just a tongue-in-cheek, humorous way of sparking conversation and promoting the restaurant. A hearty laugh all around, my dear (and a firm pat on the bustle for you)!

 

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