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« Caption This Park Slope Photo! | Main | Vomiting Pretty Woman, Your Prince Awaits [MISSED CONNECTIONS] »
Wednesday
Sep122012

everything you need to know about the Daily News' readers in one slope-centric column.

The New York Daily News recently ran a story about how the denizens of Park Slope Parents are all up in arms about the fact that nannies are liars.  Which is a fact.  Basically, anyone who tells you that they're going to enjoy caring for your children is fucking lying.  Your children are barely tolerable.  Someone who professes to derive pleasure from caring for them?  That's someone with a moral compass that points...uh...what were you doing with that compass, again?

Right.

So now, Park Slope Parents has posted a 
Statement Regarding Hiring Nannies, in response to the hullaballoo/donnybrook/clusterfuck that has ensued.  That post, which is closed to comments, contains helpful tips for parents looking for a nanny, such as "Check multiple references," and "meeting them in person if possible."

Oh, that's good.  I'd never have thought to check the references of SOMEONE WHO'S GOING TO CARE FOR MY BABY.

Of course, I don't have a baby, so it's easy for me to sit here and judge what you breeders are doing.  Hire a nanny without checking references.  Give your toddler a gallon of gasoline and some matches at playtime.  Send them to go camping with a Catholic priest or a Penn State assistant coach.  What do I care?  It's your kid, right?

What you should care about, though, is that the readers of the New York Daily News are bat-shit-fucking (and I mean all the shit that a bat can make, like even if it's been eating nothing but chickpeas and fruit punch for the last year) crazy.  Here are some of the choicest quotes from the umpteenth Park Slope Nannygate Craptastrophe:

This one is from a commenter that goes by the handle, "AWRITER" [I'll be the judge of that.]:

i understand why people want and feel they need a nanny. i guess nannies are a more personal alternative to a day care center. their children get personal care, their children get to know the provider on a one-to-one.

but there are dangers. case in point. walking one day and pass a nanny pushing her "child" in a stroller. ok. the thing is the child's foot was dangling underneath the footboard or whatever you call the thing. that in itself may be no big deal. ok. have you ever seen and heard a balloon attached to a bike wheel? well that's exactly what that child's foot was doing. and to make matters worse, the nanny knew it. so i told her, "miss her foot's dangling and dragging on the sidewalk!" nanny looked at me in disgust with an "i know it and so what i'm angry at her mother/parents" look. as a bent over and lifted the child's foot up and set it right and then stood up, nanny proceeded to give me one of those "if looks can kill" looks. okkkk.

that was not the first time i witnessed an "i don't care what happens to this child i'm not being paid enough anyway, etc" attitudes. oh i'm not saying all nannies are like these obvious non caring ones. i am saying that the ones who don't care are scary. it makes me shudder to think that these are the very ones who might have this same attitude. and such an attitude is detrimental to the child.

if the parent's/guardian are not treating you as you think you should, then quit. granted, jobs are scarce and quitting may not be an option. but don't take it out on the child. and by milking the application, etc. that's exactly what they're doing.

Yeah.  So, I've been the "judge of that" at this point, and I'm thinking that you are not "a writer."  And by "a writer," I mean "literate."  And by "literate," I mean "with a third grader's understanding of punctuation and grammar."  Your comments about dangling stroller feet are invalid.  "Invalid" is a word that means "wrong."  Look it up, "AWRITER".

Here's another, from commenter "ANACONDAMAN:"

Fake profiles? Heck, that's what the GOPs have been doing since the early 1900s... in fact, Mitt Robme and lyin' Ryan have been doing that to try to get elected... what else is new?


Well, I think we can all agree with ANACONDAMAN.  After all, he's chosen a username for his Daily News Profile that references the size of his enormous penis.  Let's all vote for Obama, because the guy with the big dick told us to.

Here's another, from "NOHOPENOCHANGE:"

All bad things that happen to the libtard hypocrites in slopeland are the mannua from heaven they deserve. Hiring illegals is bad enough, but then using them to avoid labor laws is the icing on the cake.

Well, see that?  Someone who hates Obama is telling us not to listen to the guy with the enormous schlong. Should we do that?  Hmm.  What do the other comments say?

Here's one from "EARLOFWARREN:"

These are all the liberal Obama supporters who hire illegals and then complain that the repubicans are sending all the jobs overseas. Kettle meet black - you are all just to blame by avoiding paying taxes and allowing illegals to earn money!


This is from a guy who's chosen a username that sounds remarkably like the actual, real name of a former Chief Justice of the United States Supreme Court.  So, this dude is either a lawyer, or a wingnut crackpot who is practicing law without a license.  Either way, we'd better pay attention to him.

Here's another from "FROMCHINA:"

WTF is a nanny? Holy moly people are lazy these days. If you can't take care of your kids, don't have them. You want to do something, donate to an orphanage.


An orphanage?  Oh, that's rich.  Where do you think half of these Park Slope parents got their kids?  From Chinese orphanages.  If you're living up to your username, you should really be more in-tune with this shit, FROMCHINA.  Also, if you're really "from China," you should know that having a nanny who speaks Mandarin and will teach it to your kid at an early age -- well, that's gonna get you premium coin.  Lazy?  You wanna talk about lazy?  It takes a fucking lot of hard work to find a native Chinese speaker to raise your kid at a reasonable price.  Show some respect.

Now, you've seen the crazy-ass shit that Daily News commenters leave on that site...it's your turn.  Spout off about Slope parents, Chinese nannies, grammar, punctuation and Mitt Romney in the comments to this FiPS post.  Have at it, bitchz!

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